Sexual Abuse Support Group

Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...

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How do I help him?

deleted_user
deleted_user
My b/f was molested around the age of 6 til he was about 11 by his older male cousin. He has never received therapy or counceling for this, and is now 21 yrs old. I know alot of what happened and have tried to reassure him that it's not my fault. I too was sexually abused by someone I trust, but I have confronted my abuser. He feels like it's his fault b/c the abuse continued, and he had a "normal" relationship with his cousin too. As time went by he looked forward to there visits. I don't know how to help him besides therapy, which he won't do. I can tell that this is deeply affecting him; trust issues, insecurity, etc. Any ideas? Please help!
deleted_user
deleted_user
****CORRECTION - I've tried to reassure him that it's not HIS fault****
deleted_user
deleted_user
i no its not easy to deal with for any one who you are so close to but if it will help im here
please tell me have you delate with you
and what happened to you

as for lads it is harder for them to come to terms with cause of the stuiped law
but try to get him to wright it down and this will be a big step for him
i no it sounds silly but it does help then you both can look at goals to aim for like how we can make him no its not his flaut and he does not have to feel a shamed about what happened
yours melly
SeekingStrength19
SeekingStrength19
Have you showed him this board? Maybe you show him this place ... a place where he can learn more about what happened to him, in a safe and confidential environment, and he will take the leap into getting help. That said, it took me until now (34 years old) to finally reach out. I think we all do it in our own time.
deleted_user
deleted_user
i was molested by someone in school when i was 5...i'm 15 now and i asked my mom for help and she said it happened to long ago and i don't need help...but i think i do need help cuase i can't sleep at night,i abuse drugs,i argue wit my parents all the time,and i'm really depressed...i think u should just show him alot of love and try to help him the best u can...maybe he will decide on his own to get help...he's lucky at least if he wants help he could get it...i can't =(
deleted_user
deleted_user
Just be there for him, show him this site and encourage him to use it, maybe one day he may feel like giving therapy a go
deleted_user
deleted_user
While I can't say that I agree with him when it comes to the counseling I must say at the time when I attended it didn't help me. Even to this day it still hasn't helped. This place has though and while I still cut and yes, even abuse prescription drugs on a regular basis as well as use food as a way of gaining control whether I binge or I starve it still seems to help. My mom and my best friend/husband are also great listeners and let me vent when needed. It's taken me a long time to be able to open up and even talk about what happened to me and even then it's still easier to do with them then with some therapist who knows nothing about me. Show him this site... you never know.. it might help.
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