Ive read some of your past posts about whats been going on. I strongly believe that you should leave it alone. Im glad your daughter is safe. Unfortunately, too many children are not. I know you love your sister but she obviously is blind to whats really going on. You cant make her see the truth or even what you may suspect if she doesnt want too. I think that although you may not want to, its time to just let that part of your family deal with itself. Unless of course there is more abuse, then it needs to be reported. I cant even imagine what this is like for you. I know more how your daughter must be feeling. I do know that now Im a mother I would be devastated if this happened. I commend you and respect you for coming her to seek help. I think that its time you all just do what you can in your own lives and perhaps in the future your sister will see and understand whats happening.

i think you should tell her if her son had abused your daaughter. how old are they now and how long ago was the abuse.

if she needs to be educated on the stat then give her some reading material. I don't think this has to be all that dramatic unless this happened recently.

but she should know

regarding last reply. i have read bbjjbb reply and i somewhat agree with her. I think you need to be very careful in your decision. if these are recent events then i say tell her. if these are old events and you have no evidence or reasonable suspicisions then i too think bbjjbb advise is good.

but what about my nephew. They are goig to let him stop counseling. If he was abused he may never get to that. CAn I live with myself if I say nothing and I find out later he was and someone else gets hurt.

Justanother.. it was earlier this year. I found them so she knows its true but he has somehow convinced his counselor it was a 1 time thing (like that makes a diff) so the judge said okay. its just child experimentation....

This has nothing to do with me loving my sister. Yes she is being stubborn but I care about my nephew getting help. This can't hurt my relationship with my sister that is hurt now. And lord knows she prob. still wont do anything. I dont know. Like I said I will protect my daughter. at any cost. She thinks she is doing that to her son. Yes she is protecting him but she isn't helping him. Unfortunately nephews family is the only ones not aware of this. By lying he has "made it go away" even if he doesn't have his aunt, uncle or cousin anymore. I think he has pretty much lost all from our side of family.

if this went in front of a judge then the entire family must know. That fact alone will keep him under a microscope. how does the counselor feel about him stopping therepy. Does the counselor agree that it was experimentation?

It sounds to me like this is being handled and very much in the open. As i said if it is recent events and your sister does not know then maybe you should tell her and ask if you,her and the counselor could meet to talk about it. of course that is a decision the counselor should make.

I really do not know what to tell. I know if i felt as you do and it was recent events. i would try and do something to be sure that he has got the help he needs. if it means letting your sister know this was not a one time event then that is the way it has to be. If the counselor is also convinced that it was only a one time event then there may be a problem that has been misdiagnosed.

based on what you said i would have a conversaton with your sister and the counselor.

You can't control what happens with your nephew if the sister and BIL refuse to believe that he needs help. All you can do is concentrate on your family and how you can help your daughter move forward. That is what I would have liked my mother to do.