So, I've been dating a guy for a long time (It'll be 2 years in mid february). Anyhow, when we first began dating I felt very safe around him. He's been the first guy that I've ever felt very safe around. So early in the relationship I let him be moderately physical with me thinking that if I did those things with someone I feel safe with it'd make me feel better about my past experiences and make it easier for me to be around men. After the 4th month of dating things became much more physical. The problem was, no matter how safe I felt around him normally I still felt sick to my stomach every time I let him touch me. When he was done I would talk, I couldn't look at him and I would curl up - That became very common.

Sometime after 6 months I told him that I wasn't comfortable with all of that. That it upset me sometimes and that those interactions have been hard on me. I told him that I wanted to stop but he just didn't understand, he thought they couldn't continue to be hard if I'd already done them.

I don't think he's taking advantage; he's a very gentle person. But I just can't tell whether he legitimately can't understand or whether he sees that I'm weak and takes the opportunity. He's known for about a year about the abuse in my chidhood, but he BARELY has any idea how much abuse hapened. And after I told him, nothing changed.

I just want some feedback. I'm at a loss. Is it okay to stop those things in the middle of a relationship. I'm afraid that I will jeopardize the most healthy relationship I've ever had.