Sexual Abuse Support Group

Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...

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He has a child

deleted_user
deleted_user
I was molested by a cousin growing up from the ages of 5-15. He is a couple of years older than me and this happened a long time ago. My dads side of the family protected him. They don't believe me. My grandfather actually said I made up things and watched too much TV and made up stories. Yeah, they are pretty much ostriches. I don't ever expect to get what I need from them. I will never get the ganging up on the victim. They just wanted it all to go away. Whats worse is that my grandparents and aunt/uncle knew what he was doing. At the minimum they had a clear idea. No one did anything and I wasn't his only victim.

I saw through facebook he has a new baby. That hurts mostly because his life seems to be going fine. I know I can't dwell on it. I really don't most days. But seeing that brought it all back for me. I guess what really hurts is I have a baby that has severe medical issues that will take years to resolve. I know a child is innocent and it has nothing to do with what happened to me. But it just hurts you know? Takes me back to the not fair feeling. Why do I have to suffer? And he got off scott free. Why does my child have to suffer. I know they are two different issues but that is how it made me feel. It just sucks. : (
deleted_user
deleted_user
Hi Amyb45. I'm so sorry to hear that your family did not support you. I can totally relate. My own family blamed me for my abuse. My brother would ask me "Why are you sleeping with dad? That's gross!" My step mom would ask, "Why do you hate me? Why are you trying to ruin my marriage? Why can't you leave my husband alone?" My grandmother even got into my face and told me that (because I didn't tell) "You deserved everything that happened to you! You must have liked it or else you would have told!"

It took a lot of courage, but I had to distance myself from all those negative people. I am so much happier and healthier now without those people in my life.

Does your abuser's wife know what he did to you? I think she deserves to know...especially since they now have a child. (I would certainly want to know if my husband was a perp).

Hang in there. Better days are coming.
Peace
deleted_user
deleted_user
I'm sorry that your family is like this...you are brave to tell your story...
deleted_user
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I went through the same thing with a family member, my mom walked in him doing it and did nothing...years later i learned he had children. I strugled over the thought of an other child being at his hands. It took a lot of courage and I started writing his wife a few times before I could send it. But now that I did I feel better. I know if he abused one of his children it wouldn't be my fault but knowing that now I think I'd blame myself if he did. I'm not you and I can't say how you feel or would feel but that made me feel better knowing I tryed keeping those kids safe.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Hi Amy, Sorry that your family members are ostriches! They should be there for you thick or thin. I can relate, my mother never wanted to believe that her sons could do such a thing to me, and she still thinks her sons can do no wrong to this day.
Are you in any kind of therapy right now? I have been to counselors my entire life, but could never find one that specialize in sexual abuse. I think if you asked a therapist how to approach this issue as far as telling his wife, that would help you a lot.
Praying for you!
Big hugs
deleted_user
deleted_user
Amyb45..... Maybe it only appears that way.....first of all, the universe has a long memory, no one action is ever forgotten, I would feel sorry for his new kid...in the future....And it's called comparative thinking....your looking at your life Vs. his....why? And he didn't get off scott free....believe me. The family reaction is pretty typical, given the dynamic involved. They didn't want to see it, it was too hard. Who said you had to suffer? That is a choice when you see that YOU have the choice to NOT be the victim. Are you the role, or are you YOU?
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