Hello sunnybird.

I had terror dreams for a long time. I could only get them to stop by going to counseling. It worked in time and now i am terror dream free. I did a lot of self help and research. there is a lot of good information on the internet.

good luck and stay strong.

Hi thanks for replying. I have never been to counseling. Never talked about the abuse to anyone either. And I am new here. It was ok to keep this to myself, never expected these dreams to come up!
sunnybird

Therapy...does wonders....time to talk about it.

I don't think face to face is ok for me now. My husband knows very little and my daughter knows nothing about this. My family would rather I forget forever.

Well that's not a realistic expectation cuz it doesn't just go away. And obviously you can't just bury it. So maybe talking here will help you.

esoteric, that's why I am here. I don't have a clue on how to deal with this. I know what happened. Thought I put it away a long time ago. Why now am I having these dreams? I don't want to remember this stuff. It's disgusting. I have moved past this. I have a good life. Worked so hard getting through all of that crap. What's with the night terrors?

Well everyone's brain deals with it differently and a lot of us figured we were done and had dealt with it and had moved on. Theory is that when something "major" in our life happens it can "trigger" memories. For example....losing or gaining a job. Buying a house or a major purchase. Getting married or divorced. Having a child or a kid turning the age you were abused...any number of things can start those memories...it's different for everyone. Once those memeories or nightmares start up, it can be hard to stop them. See your brain is figuring you're an adult, you're strong (obviously since you are doing well in your life) so now is the time to deal with what you've been putting off for years. We can't alwasy control what our brain is trying to tell us....it's an amazing tool and it kept you safe and protected for years and now it's saying hey hon....you gotta face it one way or another.

i learned a technique on how to deal with it from counseling. it has helped me many times.
when i do wake up (eventually) i'm very scared. but whatever i remembered last in my head (even if it's only the fear), i would sort of make a note of it on a paper, but then i would write my own ending to it (like a story). but one there is one condition to it- it has to end good. otherwise there is no point to it.
the whole thing soft of like re-enfrces the positive things in your head.
i hope it makes sense.
good luck with it. i really do hope it will eventualy all go away for you.

I was so nervous about posting.I never talked about this stuff before. You guys are wonderful! The only positive ending I could think of would be biting him. I had often thought about doing that but was so afraid. I need a victory of some kind in my dream. I do live avoiding anything that would trigger me. Try to stay safe.Maybe in my dream it's dark because I can't face it. What I did. Forced to do sounds better. So hard to try and talk about this. Brings up pictures I would rather not see.

I love your ideas thank you
sunnybird