Sexual Abuse Support Group
Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...
Double jeopardy
My abuse started with an older brother when I was eight years old. It continued with him and a couple or his same age friends at the time until I was eleven. At that time he introduced me to Ernie a much older gentleman. I got sucked into this with the offer of making money doing yard work. My brother knew what he was all about because he was willing with the guy. Ernie started abusing me almost immediately and it was a lot. This continued until I was eighteen when I finally had the strength to put a stop to it on my own.
When I was about 14 my parents started grounding as soon as school was out and until the next school year started. The only exception to this was, if I was going away with anyone else. They never told me why they were grounding me. I just knew they hated Ernie and Bette, his wife who was also abusing me, in time they were double teaming me. During those years Ernie had an entire circle of predators taking their turns with me.
I had no ability to stop it and was totally confused about whole thing.
So, in my early twenties I found out that my parents did know what was going on, they just didnt know to what degree. When I realized they knew and I was being grounded to keep me away from this guy, I felt totally betrayed by my parents. I know they meant well and at least they tried something. I can only fault them for their choices and not there intentions. These things were always kept in the closet back then. So by them grounding I put me at odds with them and in the middle of a tug of war the bastard Ernie. Eventually, I was pretty much force to live with Ernie and Bette at 16 almost 17.
I was so screwed up at that age I didnt have a clue what to do or even how to do it. My parents unknowingly made me feel like I was always doing something wrong. And I had become so use to being abused I am not even sure at the time I could articulate what was happening as being abuse. As I said this stuff was always kept in the closet and as kids back then we were ignorant to carnal knowledge.
I now considered myself a brainwashed sexual slave for those years. I wasnt making any of my own decisions. He had total control over my life, money, I wasnt allowed to date or go to any dances or proms. He had total and absolute control over me which is why I call it brainwashing and sexual enslavement. At eighteen I made a decision to either find a way to end this or take my life. Being brought up catholic meant to take your own life meant a permanent trip to hell. That scared me more than the situation I was in.
So in my parents trying to protect me, they used punishment which in a sense played right into the predators hand.
I was getting it from both sides.
Talk about messing up a kids mind.
My abuse started with an older brother when I was eight years old. It continued with him and a couple or his same age friends at the time until I was eleven. At that time he introduced me to Ernie a much older gentleman. I got sucked into this with the offer of making money doing yard work. My brother knew what he was all about because he was willing with the guy. Ernie started abusing me almost immediately and it was a lot. This continued until I was eighteen when I finally had the strength to put a stop to it on my own.
When I was about 14 my parents started grounding as soon as school was out and until the next school year started. The only exception to this was, if I was going away with anyone else. They never told me why they were grounding me. I just knew they hated Ernie and Bette, his wife who was also abusing me, in time they were double teaming me. During those years Ernie had an entire circle of predators taking their turns with me.
I had no ability to stop it and was totally confused about whole thing.
So, in my early twenties I found out that my parents did know what was going on, they just didnt know to what degree. When I realized they knew and I was being grounded to keep me away from this guy, I felt totally betrayed by my parents. I know they meant well and at least they tried something. I can only fault them for their choices and not there intentions. These things were always kept in the closet back then. So by them grounding I put me at odds with them and in the middle of a tug of war the bastard Ernie. Eventually, I was pretty much force to live with Ernie and Bette at 16 almost 17.
I was so screwed up at that age I didnt have a clue what to do or even how to do it. My parents unknowingly made me feel like I was always doing something wrong. And I had become so use to being abused I am not even sure at the time I could articulate what was happening as being abuse. As I said this stuff was always kept in the closet and as kids back then we were ignorant to carnal knowledge.
I now considered myself a brainwashed sexual slave for those years. I wasnt making any of my own decisions. He had total control over my life, money, I wasnt allowed to date or go to any dances or proms. He had total and absolute control over me which is why I call it brainwashing and sexual enslavement. At eighteen I made a decision to either find a way to end this or take my life. Being brought up catholic meant to take your own life meant a permanent trip to hell. That scared me more than the situation I was in.
So in my parents trying to protect me, they used punishment which in a sense played right into the predators hand.
I was getting it from both sides.
Talk about messing up a kids mind.
deleted_user
That sounds awful. You sound like you really have a handle on it now. I know what you mean about brainwashed. When non-abused people here stories they say why didn't you just say no or run away. There is no way to explain the fear. Thank you for sharing I joined yesterday and hearing others really does help. I feel really strong today. I don't know how long it will last, but I'm here now. Do you talk to your brother? If you don't mind me asking. I have unfinished issues with my family? I want to just wash my hands of them, and I have tried. But well we all have kids and the holidays are coming. I think I am going to post on this. Thank again for sharing
deleted_user
thank you. and yes i do talk with my brother when i see him. I aired my dirty laundry with him and he has been exposed and contained. but he is my brother and as such i love him. Our relationship will never be great becasue he is in so much denial. I love him becasue it helps me. I Care what happens to him because he is my brother. this may sound strange but to me people and family are more important. Big brother has mended his ways and i have given him his second chance.
deleted_user
I to came from the age of everything is swept under the carpet this is still alive today, Wow what a brave person you are to tell your story you are a real surviver... Talk about messing up childrens minds YES this is so sad that parents who do not want people or society to know their story so at the expense of a child keep it a secret and punish the child even though that child is in no way at fault, like you this is not your fault the shame should be on the adults who caused this, we are victims of victims as sad as that is but true... my blessing are with you and i hope you are well... xxxoooxxx luv lesley
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