Double jeopardy

My abuse started with an older brother when I was eight years old. It continued with him and a couple or his same age friends at the time until I was eleven. At that time he introduced me to Ernie a much older gentleman. I got sucked into this with the offer of making money doing yard work. My brother knew what he was all about because he was willing with the guy. Ernie started abusing me almost immediately and it was a lot. This continued until I was eighteen when I finally had the strength to put a stop to it on my own.

When I was about 14 my parents started grounding as soon as school was out and until the next school year started. The only exception to this was, if I was going away with anyone else. They never told me why they were grounding me. I just knew they hated Ernie and Bette, his wife who was also abusing me, in time they were double teaming me. During those years Ernie had an entire circle of predators taking their turns with me.
I had no ability to stop it and was totally confused about whole thing.

So, in my early twenties I found out that my parents did know what was going on, they just didnt know to what degree. When I realized they knew and I was being grounded to keep me away from this guy, I felt totally betrayed by my parents. I know they meant well and at least they tried something. I can only fault them for their choices and not there intentions. These things were always kept in the closet back then. So by them grounding I put me at odds with them and in the middle of a tug of war the bastard Ernie. Eventually, I was pretty much force to live with Ernie and Bette at 16 almost 17.
I was so screwed up at that age I didnt have a clue what to do or even how to do it. My parents unknowingly made me feel like I was always doing something wrong. And I had become so use to being abused I am not even sure at the time I could articulate what was happening as being abuse. As I said this stuff was always kept in the closet and as kids back then we were ignorant to carnal knowledge.

I now considered myself a brainwashed sexual slave for those years. I wasnt making any of my own decisions. He had total control over my life, money, I wasnt allowed to date or go to any dances or proms. He had total and absolute control over me which is why I call it brainwashing and sexual enslavement. At eighteen I made a decision to either find a way to end this or take my life. Being brought up catholic meant to take your own life meant a permanent trip to hell. That scared me more than the situation I was in.

So in my parents trying to protect me, they used punishment which in a sense played right into the predators hand.

I was getting it from both sides.

Talk about messing up a kids mind.