
Sexual Abuse Support Group
Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...

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I read a previous message on this board and I wanted to ask ppl's views about something that happened to me at uni. I went out with this guy a couple of times. We had sex once. anyway we went out again and he came back to my room. I was going to have sex with him, but I am always safe, always (my uncle died of aids). Anyway so I told him yeah, put a condom on, which he did. Then he started to get a little rough, and he took it off without me seeing. Anyway I noticed before he did anything. Well actually I noticed the condom he was in the process of pining me down. I told him I wasn't willing to have sex without a condom. He said I didn't mean that. He pushed down on top of me, I squirmed and threw him off me. He smacked his head on the bedside table (it made him bleed which I think he deserved). He called me a bitch, and said he had only wanted to see how hard I would struggle. He put his trousers on and left.
I think its only through my previous experiences with an extremely abusive ex that I was able to react so strongly and actually physically remove him from me. I didn't report it but in hindsight I think I should have. I had bruises on my wrists and he had a gash on his head so there was some evidence, but I suppose he would have said it was just consensual. Given that I was willing to sleep with the guy was what he did attempt to rape me?
I think its only through my previous experiences with an extremely abusive ex that I was able to react so strongly and actually physically remove him from me. I didn't report it but in hindsight I think I should have. I had bruises on my wrists and he had a gash on his head so there was some evidence, but I suppose he would have said it was just consensual. Given that I was willing to sleep with the guy was what he did attempt to rape me?
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You may ask yourself why do your have the need to be with this kind of man 1st your ex now this man.
no is no today. I don't know at what level he could be charged. assualt for sure.
Please consider counseling in order to uncover why it is you might be attracted to guys with this personality type.
You DESERVE to be with a man who is loving and treats you with respect. Maybe a few sessions with a counselor who can offer a different perspective on your life, to this point, might help you pick differently in the future.
Please know, that I'm not blaming you for what happened! I don't want my words to come off that way. That guy should NOT have done what he did ... and NO MEANS NO! We just all seem to repeat cycles sometimes, unless we can figure out why it is we do what we do and then make changes.
I wish you the very best.
((HUGS))
xx
My fiance and I are actually going to relationship counselling before we get married and I suspect that it will uncover whether I need any additional separate counselling. I might. I still have issues from the abusive relationship I was in around being choked and trusting guys in bed.
Never had another relationship until 5yrs.later,i felt better about myself,discovered the real me and matured alot.My next relationship was sixteen years of bliss,i attracted a man who highly respected me,catered to me,always complimenting me and cared for me deeply.I attracted him because i no longer felt like crap .If we dont value ourselves men wont value us.Two years ago this wonderful man died of cancer and i am so grateful for his unconditional love.
If you encounter anything again REPORT the Happening.