I truly know how you feel and being a victim myself I find that I was left with a lot of anger..
I've tried meds no luck.
I've tried therapy, it was to heavy for my therapist.
I am seeking spirituality, faith.
I think that a human can never really understand. unless, they went through the same things.
So it lies within ourselves to find the freedom.
To forgive.
(I'm still not there)
take care, Linda

Geri,it is hard...I have been there and done this one!When I first met my fiance,I told him the "rules." They were harsh at first,but he respected them.Poor guy,I thought he was the crazy one to put up with my crap! It takes a lifetime to realize that you are the victor now and not the victim, one day at a time. I had to move through many of my years one second at a time. In the beginning with Chris (fiance), when we were done having sex or whatever you want to call it, I would jump out of bed and go to something else. I didn't want him to touch me anymore for awhile or anything...I would tell him that I had stuff I had to get done.I didn't realize at first that I was hurting him (and myself), it was a learning process-just as this is...Bless you, Hugs-Jessica

i too was sexually abusesd in my childhood years and in a 10yr marriage. i found it difficult to have sex with anyone one especially since my ex was brutal and hard with me. but this gentle man had so much patience, tolerence, and love to show me that there is a different way to have sex, i acctually became a woman with him at the age of 32yrs old, he taught me everything i know. even though i got raped again at the age of 35 ykrs old that is when i sought help to become a survivor and not a victim of these attackers. i am glad i did it. it empowered me to do something for my self. when you get help youll know, dont give up geri....

I truly understand how you feel!!!!!!!!I was molested by my dad and I would always think it was him touching me if I was with my boyfriend. My boyfriend helped me through it. He and I went to a youth group and at that time my dad got help too. I forgave him and we moved on. But I did feel used with anyone I was with and the worse was that I couldn't tell the people when I was molested a couple of times "to stop!!", because I felt I couldn't say anything. But now, I am moving a long the only thing is I have a bad relationship with my dad, as in I don't speak much with him. But my anger, which is what I am trying to cope with got me to cut and keep hurting myself. I know now after I admitted I need help that I need to think about me and stop going back although it hits you in the face at times. Good luck!!!!!!

geri, it can be very hard to either be touched or overtouched, but if u get help and go to therapy to stop being a victim and a survivor u can experience the most beautiful way of making love. because u do get out of this if u really want it so much. so keep up the work...and try different things and sooner or later you'll be happy......anna

I, too, was sexually abused from the age of 5 to the age of 12. I, too, have trust issues, and I believe I always will. I will never trust completely, because that is too big a risk. However, I have learned to trust my husband about 90% and that feeling is awesome!!!! He truly is a wonderful man and why he puts up with my "craziness" is beyond me. But, he does. I guess that must mean that he really does love me. I try to tell myself that, and he does too, but I just can't get it completely through my head, I guess.
I guess my suggestion to you would be to decide what you want in a man, write it down even and post it somewhere that you will see it often. Then, as you are "looking" for that certain someone, you will remember what it is you are "looking" for. When you find one that is at least close to the description, give it a whirl. Nothing to deep, maybe lunch or coffee. Then, get to know him. Really know him before you go further. And, don't be ashamed to tell him about your abuse and the reprocussions you deal with. If he meets your criteria, he will understand and support you. (Make sure that's on your list..:)
Hope this helps some.
Take Care of You