i think that you'll begin to remember as the counselling progresses. i THINK that it's better and safer if you remember as much as possible...that way, if you start remembering later, it won't surprise you and make you go back to therapy...

i just got back from seeing my therapist a few hours ago...and i'm not ready to walk down that "road" (to my past)...

i'm so desperate to get over this...so that i can think clearly and not let this get in the way...but i guess i'm going to have to be more patient...

this whole thing is like being the victim in a car accident. the person is the one that hit you and YOU have to do all the work...(call the insurance, etc.)...

i feel like i should be the one with the break...

keep your chin up. i KNOW it will start to get better...we just need to be patient some more...

i'm here if you need to talk or anything. =)

i myself shut it away for a long time and then totally out the blue for no reason at all i suddenly remembered everything,your lucky tho,i have never had or been offered counselling,i hope it works for you.

You are very brave! Trust me dealing with the issue is absolutly the best thing you can do! You need to go through all this pain and anger and sadness to heal from it! I wish I could tell you all the hurt will be gone one day but I can't! But I can tell you it get's easier if you embrace the process! I dealt with all the in your face raw emotions a long time ago and I was doing really well I really moved on with my life. I'm in the phase of grieving now! I'm grieving for the part of my self that was violated, my Spirit! I have a lot of experience with what your feeling right now and if you need to have a chat anytime I'll be here to support you!

I didn't start remembering till recently, its the hardest thing ever to deal with, but at the same time you learn a lot about yourself... and while self-introspection is a uphill battle, it pays off none the less

at the risk of sounding stupid.

I look at this question from a miltary mentallity.

on D-day every man put on the beach knew the only way home was straight ahead thru the enemy lines. Yes you have to go thru it but that doesn't mean you have to do it all at once or see and remember everthing. Your objective is to heal to heal means working the emotions and dealing with what ever is thrown at you.

I always say and probably to much that you had the courage to survive. now you need to have the courage to heal.

rich

wow, thanks you guys all have alot of great input that makes sense. I guess its nothing you can make happen any sooner or faster than its supposed to. The lat time I saw a therapist was 5 yrs ago. I tried and wanted to deal with it. She just she diagnosed me with anxiety, and PTSD sent me on my way with a prescription and then it was like I stuffed it back down deeper. Now it seem s like its coming back worse. I feel good with this counselor. He really stresses alot of important things each time I go i try to write that night in a journal what I got out of that session. Thanks guys for making me feel welcome!!

Like you, I'm also new to this community. Because I have no one to talk to about this, I just knew that I could find some sort of online community where there were others in the same boat as I am. Like you, I didn't remember anything for years, but at the same time knew that something wasn't quite right. I always felt different from the other kids, like I could never be like them or a part of their group. I've always refused to go to a therapist or counselor or anything like that because I was afraid of what I would find out, but now, I'm considering it. I still haven't remembered everything and don't know that I can handle it alone if I do. I've never wanted to remember any of this and wish now, at times, that I weren't remembering it.

Only thing I can say is I think the time was right. All of a sudden everything in my life was chaos. After the first counselor I wouldnt go to one unless I heard of a good one. Im in scool and Its so cool my teacher recomended him. Thats the only reason. I just feel like its always on my mind and i know I need to deal. I cant evn concentrate on school. I think When the time is right maybe the right people come into your life.Im not too much for just opening the yellow pages and picking a number! Untill then this is a gret site.