Sexual Abuse Support Group
Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...
I am currently having issues with my father. When I was in primary school he molested me and my friend, which led him to be imprisoned. Then he got out and did it to me again.But this is not the issue, just a brief history.
Currently I am planning my wedding and just sent out my invites. The wedding is bringing up a lot of personal issues. Like walking down the aisle, being given away and the invites. Well im not getting given away and he isnt walking me down the aisle (honestly i believe he lost his right ages ago).
The issue with my invites is that I recently got a call from his new wife complaining that I had only used my in-laws names on it ("mr and mrs blah request the honour ...). That i didnt include my parents. Well my mother is fine with it and understands. But i think my dad believes in some ways that everything is totally fine and i am exactly the same person i would be if this didnt happen But he has to realise that i am NOT. He broke a major trust barrier and for this has given away his right to my respect.
Just want to know from others what they think, and if I have done the right thing or am just being BITCHY????
Thanks for any replies,
Stefanie
Currently I am planning my wedding and just sent out my invites. The wedding is bringing up a lot of personal issues. Like walking down the aisle, being given away and the invites. Well im not getting given away and he isnt walking me down the aisle (honestly i believe he lost his right ages ago).
The issue with my invites is that I recently got a call from his new wife complaining that I had only used my in-laws names on it ("mr and mrs blah request the honour ...). That i didnt include my parents. Well my mother is fine with it and understands. But i think my dad believes in some ways that everything is totally fine and i am exactly the same person i would be if this didnt happen But he has to realise that i am NOT. He broke a major trust barrier and for this has given away his right to my respect.
Just want to know from others what they think, and if I have done the right thing or am just being BITCHY????
Thanks for any replies,
Stefanie
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
Steff, I have a similar story. When I got married to my first husband, we didn't use our parent's names on our invites, and I didn't ask my father to walk me down the aisle either, and told him I was going solo. When the time came to go down the aisle I was standing there waiting for the last remaining people to go in, and there was my dad, standing there waiting for me to come and take his arm. I frowned at him and motioned to him to go take his seat. He shrugged and entered the church.
Shortly after that I started to remember my abuse. When I married my second husband, my father wasn't even invited to the wedding.
I don't think you are being bitchy at all. I think you are being assertive in getting your needs met. Good for you!
I hope your wedding day is the best day of your life. You deserve it!
if him being there is going to ruin your wedding then to bad for him. your right he lost his rights long ago.
Chili
Hugs,
Cheyenne
This is your day, he lost his opportunity to walk you down the aisle.
And to fill you in. My step-mother does know what he did. And instead of my father walking me down the aisle. Me and my bridesmaids are going to walk solo across a bridge and meet the groom and groomsmen and walk with them up the aisle. I thought this was nicer anyway.
Thanks again everyone.
It's your wedding, if you don't invite him...that's okay too! You do what's in your heart, you're the one that will live with his inappropriate actions!
Stay strong! I hope your wedding is the most BEAUTIFUL day of your life!!!