Sexual Abuse Support Group

Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...

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Dating........went horrible!

deleted_user
deleted_user
Everything was okay until the end of the evening when he tried to kiss me. I couldn't let him. I told him no. He kissed my cheek. I shook like a leaf and after I left I cried all the way home. I couldn't get out of my car. I drove around til 4 in the morning. It was an awful night.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Well if the date was good and he was fine with just a kiss on the cheek then he is worth seeing again. He didn't pressure you. So, this is a first step forward.

What you are experiencing is normal but you can learn to trust again and love also.

So, take it one step at a time and it will get easier!!

With love!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I'm so sorry you had such a bad reaction. But I'm so impressed with your courage and strength to go on a date in the first place.

Now that you know that this reaction is possible, you can prepare for it for the next time you go on a date. While this was very hard, it is progress.

Please be gentle with yourself. (((HUG)))
deleted_user
deleted_user
A kiss on the cheek is fine for a first date anyway, if he didn't mind that then it is also ok. He didn't pressure you into more and you stood your ground, you kept control of the situation - well done and I'd say if the offer comes up for a follow up date go for it...at your own pace of course
deleted_user
deleted_user
what makes it seem worse is the fact that I shook like a leaf. He noticed too and asked asked why and I told him that the last guy I was with was a bad person and I let the discussion of that rest.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I hate when that happens...I start shaking when I get scared. Was he understanding about that?
deleted_user
deleted_user
he seemed to be okay, but he doesn't know what happened and he did comment about the shaking.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I go through exactly the same on dates. I can't cope with kissing at all. It is far too intimate and sets alarm bells ringing in my head as i then start to worry about sex. I get so stressed sometimes that i cry hysterically afterwards. I'm back to not going out incase i meet someone new and the whole scenario starts all over again. I have no idea how to cope with this but it is good to know i am not alone.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I'm sorry that it didn't go as well as it could have, sweetie. But the fact that you went at all, is a HUGE step forward and that's really good!
And it sounds like he was pretty understanding, so that's a good sign too.
Maybe with this, you could just try to wait it out and see what happens.
I'm really proud of you, though!
You're in my prayers, friend. BIG hug and lots of love.
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