I dont know what to say about that. Im glad that you go to say what you needed to. But I think the true defeat is in your living your life. I am still going through the grieving process to recognize the pain that people have caused me. My sister asked my what I would do to one of the molestors in my childhood. It was a doctor that I was looking for. I wanted to know if he was still practicing. If so I would want him to stop. But I dont know if I would recognise him. I think sometimes for someone like that I could find the anger in me that doesnt seem to exsist. Just sadness...I hope you get vindication. We all need it. We need complete acknowledgement and a sincere apology. I just want them to feel the pain they caused me. The self loathing that we go through. Sometimes I think my father feels it. Sometimes when he says hes tired or has a long day. I want to tell him I dont care. That it cant compare to the pain his family feels. Sometimes when he gave me a ride home from work I wanted to kill him. I saw my face and heart so at peace that just one of the people in the world that excerts their power over people and violates them is dead. But he is not. He lives. But without the joy of having his children in his life....

I have the same problem with the statutes thing. For me, I think it was important to realize that a court or any other entity does not need to recognize what happened. Your cousin does. Make it right for you, not the court. (easier said then done, I hope it helps a little)

Y is there a statute on such a horrible thing? there's no statute for murder, And that type of abuse in my oppinion is right up there with murder, hell most vicimes have suicidal tedencies. WTF?

I am gonna try to make sure that as many people can see this as possible. I am gonna get this video to him somehow.

I found my cousin's myspace and sent him the link, with any luck he will see it tonite...

I spoke to Jason for and hour and a half last night. i haven't spoken to him in 10 years. I told him off for his message, and then found out he had terrible dial-up internet and could not see my video. He was genuinely happy to hear from me. I let him have it. Only thing is... he owned up to his part, apologized and told me of his very abusive upbringing and i came to see that he was not the monster I built him up in my mind to be. He was 12 when he molested me, but at the time he said he could have never predicted the consequences of his actions. He has gone through alcohol and drug abuse in his 20's and come out the other side a responsible decent person. I am not saying what he did is ok, but in my heart i can forgive him.

I am dearly glad that you could forgive him!! I never went through the anger phase with any of this stuff so I haven't begun to feel any of that pain. Nevertheless, I'm proud of you!

I am so sorry for what happened to you, but see an attorney. Some of the states have changed the statute of limitations (I believe due to the Catholic priests abuse of children, but whatever) so you may have more recourse and be able to get this guy away from other kids and put closure to this yourself. Check into it and take care. XOXO

You are so strong, i just watched your video. Every sexual abuse is different and at some points in the video i really felt what you were saying. it was my cousin who abused me, i want to confront him.He lives in the house he abused me in with his girfriend and now he has 2 children. That makes me angry. I do agree that the main person who needs to understand your pain is your cousin x