Dunno what ta say really Heegs, my skin crawls when I see my abuser, I almost feel like puking. U must be quite strong to want ta do that, all I can say is good on ya, be strong & go hard!

Do you have a counselor?

if so I would do it with their guidence.

confronting can be tricky and I don't know your situation or your abuser. It is good you are asking for advise.

i confronted my abuser this summer. I recommend that you don't do it alone. That is a dangerous situation. Also don't try to rush yourself into this. It's okay to take your time. Make sure that you really are ready for this. I thought that I was but I wasn't. It was too soon for me. Since then I've had a slew of new PTSD symptoms and all of a sudden I started experiencing this crazy anxiety that I never had before. So just be careful and make sure you build a good support system around. Maybe make sure you have a safe place to go after.

I wrote a letter. Sent it to him. I felt relieved. I don't think it made him feel guilty about it, but I think he may have realized what it had done to me. I think at the time, he was too stupid to understand what he was doing. He was a drug attict, and I wrote him the letter when he was dying. I never faced him after that. But I never liked facing him anyway. I think confronting him, in my own way, made me stronger. I am better able to deal with what happened to me. Sometimes, it is like I feel sad for someone else.

thanks for all the feed back guys. I think this is a key subject in dealing with sexual abuse. we must confront the source of our guilt/shame/fear.through writing, speach or whatever makes US feel better. the trick is to do it right so we come out ahead and not behind where we were.

Back-up when facing a pedophile is usually advised, not something you really want to do alone.

Heegs,
This is a real touchy area. Definitely work with a counselor before doing this. Come up with the safest way you can to make sure you are not attacked verbally or made to feel it was your fault. Remember, it is never your fault.

I agree you need to have someone there and a safe way to talk about the experience afterward.

Hang in there and take care of yourself first.
Hugs

I kind of did at one point confront him about what he did. I didn't do or say much of what I wannted to or planned to. It was sooo hard to even face him to begin with yet alone speak to him about it. I look at it as sort of a practice run.
The next time I'll be way more prepared and have less fear (I hope). I just want to make sure that it goes more the way I want it to this time.

I did have a lot of coaching from a good counselor :)

I think the trick to confronting is to not expect a reply that acknowledges the abuse or an apology for the abuse. Do it for youself only - without any expectations. I confronted my abuser and the response was that I was making something out of nothing and/or I was making it up. I should have expected it because that is how I was raised - being told I was making something out of nothing. For me - it did help because my abuser is no longer on my mind - I don't hate this person as much as I used to because I don't give it the energy any longer. The confrontation did that for me.

I confrnted my abuser several times. I never felt what I wanted after. Mine I would say were not a success. My advice be sure youre strong enough to not go back into your role when you were actively being abused. She(L my abuser) confused me even more, telling me it was not abuse it was love. I wanted her to love me tho, it would mean that all that we did had some meaning.(foolish I know) we met a few other time by chance each time i was alone and that I would not recomend. I think you really need to bring some support with you, someone to help you recognize what ya really want. cause in my cases I was always left confused and feeling more angree.

I confronted my father on his death bed last summer in front of my mother. Of course, all I got was denial and kicked out of the nursing home, told not to return.
I live with no relief. It didnt help me at all.
make sure you can have a counselor for yourself as you go thru with anything. I didnt have a counselor to help me then or now. I hurt. I still wish death would just take me. Unfortunately, I need to help my children as well. :( depression and type2 diabetes as well. I'm no longer able to maintain happiness except on the surface.
My advice:get help to do it.

I kinda just went through this I had a trigger,my son caused it,but had no idea.I had to see my counseler everyday for 2 weeks. I was always able to say my brother abused me,but this caused to to talk about it in detail. I started by writing letters,then roll playing reading them out loud to an imagenary him. This all may sound crazy,but it worked. It was very emotional. If it was not for my counseler talking to me every time I needed call him on his cell day or night sometimes more than once.He helped me relized confrontig would do more damage than good. So whatever you do do not do it alone!!!!!!

if i ever see my abusers again..... i will probly end up in jail for beating their faces in..... i dont think it is time for me to confront them... i am tooo angry.