
Sexual Abuse Support Group
Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...

deleted_user
I feel like a stupid child who should have the emotional strength to just get over it. But I am still racked by uncontrolable feelings of guilt, shame, self-loathing and hate. I want to take him and beat him until every ounce of pain his actions put me through are repaid in full, but I know that I shouldn't think things like that. Hating him is more detrimental to me than it could ever be to him. When I look in the mirror all I see is this disgusting person who was too pathetic to help herself, I should be stronger than this. My family has no idea I feel this way, no one but my boyfriend does and he doesn't know what to do with me. He tries so hard to help and I just find myself pushing him away. Someone finally loves me when I can't even love myself and I'm pushing them away.
After nine years, half of my life, I thought I had the majority of my issues under control at least I could talk to a male stranger with going through a mini-panic attack, but then we had to go and invite my demons to dinner. My cousin is coming for Christmas. I'm going to see him again after six years and I'm scared to death. I was sexually abused by my older cousin the summer before I turned ten and I don't know what to do. I don't think I can handle going home for winter break knowing he'll soon be there.
After nine years, half of my life, I thought I had the majority of my issues under control at least I could talk to a male stranger with going through a mini-panic attack, but then we had to go and invite my demons to dinner. My cousin is coming for Christmas. I'm going to see him again after six years and I'm scared to death. I was sexually abused by my older cousin the summer before I turned ten and I don't know what to do. I don't think I can handle going home for winter break knowing he'll soon be there.
Posts You May Be Interested In
-
theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
-
I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
Half the time I think I've moved on to "forgive myself" and let go of the shame, rage, hate and self loathing ... then the other half of the time all I want to do is drive to where he lives and beat him within an inch of his life.
As for your cousin coming to dinner ... do your parents know what he did to you?
If so, I wouldn't go home for Christmas. Go to your BF's house or find somewhere else to go.
If they don't know, and you don't want to tell them, maybe you could call your cousin and tell him he's not welcome at your home. Make HIM cancel. Make HIM make up the excuse as to why he can't be there.
These things are all IMHO.
I wish you peace and healing.