In a slight way the best is just to tell or maybe write a letter and explaining the problem and how you feel about the hugs.

let them know how it makes you feel. reassure them that you appreciate their affection and support but sometimes it's just too overwhelming.

Thanks for your advice, I'm just worried about hurting their feelings, or them never hugging me again. Sometimes I need hugs!

This hits close to home. I have trouble even with my kids at times. Try turning your body to the side a little so that it isn't full body contact. Hope this helps.

great idea! I will try it! thank you

has anyone used the meditative approach to desensiting the affects of this type of trigger.

A very good therapist that I had a mass general hospital use to hypnotise me and I would be in a recliner in a sound proof room and we would communicate thru head phones. I was also hook to to a bio feed back system that monitor my anxiety levels and he would talk me thru one trigge at a time.

the bio feed back told no lies and really worked getting me thru some of the triggers. unfortunately he relocated to washington state.

THis worked so well for me that i am starting that therapy again and use it for the ptss.

just curious. I think it is the one thing that helped more than any other regarding triggers.

i agree with ninavee
i do that too
and it seems to help

People so want to comfort you, and when my son was ill I really needed a hug, but I had scared everyone off! Writing a letter sounds like a great idea.
I hope your son gets better, I know what a worry it can be.

I've done the turning to the side thing a few times too. It works well when I want it to. Also, if you don't get the chance to turn to the side, then pat the person's back once or twice before you quickly, but politely pull away. In my experience the patting immediately sends the message of 'not too close right now'. I hope this helps.

what Ninavee said thats what i do...all the time i even pull my body back and some times close my eyes and imagen im not being touches or i fo compleatly stiff and i normaly grab there hands and try to get myself free. I have always done that my mom hates it cuz i cant stand anyone touching me. I work in a daycare with toddlers and i carry and hug them all day long, but most no where to place there hands now as i normaly move them to the place i want there hands. only one little girl still makes me uncomfratable

Let people know where you are comfortable and how you feel. Supressing your feelings makes things worse. Maybe you could even think of the reasons to why hugs are such a problem and deal with that directly. There is a bigger picture. I know it has to do with the abuse, but target your feelings directly and you will find things to get easier.

You can show affection in different ways....my girls are total geeks like me so anything goes. High fives, butt bumps like the disco days, make up a special handshake, rub noses. Buy little stuffed animals and have them hug for you...whatever. Just say I'm having a little trouble with the touching thing right now but I still want you to know I love/like/care/whatever you so here's how I'll show you.....something like that. Really...it's not the touching it's the thought or emotion behind that hug and as long as they still get that....doesn't matter how you express it.

Be perfectly honest and lay it out. Tell them that it's not personal, that you appreciate their affection, but sometimes you just don't want to be touched. These are people who care about you. It really can be that simple.

I love hugs by my hubby as long as they don't last to long. Then i feel like i can't breath and he would not hurt me either never has, never will..

But since a child when i was raped at such a tender life i have been that way and some days don't want no one to touch me at all...

i do the patting on the back and the side hugs a lot. I have also told friends that i just like my personal space. i've been working on this issue a lot in the last few months and, i've been pushing myself to be more touchy. lol so a guy friend of mine thought i was hitting on him b/c i'm normally so into hugs. My friends just seem to understand now. I just try and make it quick.
With family i close my eyes and think of the person i'm hugging and how much i love them.

I'm so sorry to hear about your son.

when my step-father died recently i hugged sooo many strangers,...i thought i was cured. I'm not, but it helped to see the good in people. It still helps me to think of those days when i do need a hug.

i know what it's like to want one, but not at the same time. i'm sorry your going through this.