Sexual Abuse Support Group

Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...

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being social

deleted_user
deleted_user
I would like to know how all of you uys out there can be so encouraging? I know that we are all here for support with serious issues, but even here I am afraid of being judged. I try to watch what other people are doing to see if I can come up with some ways of helping myself, but I feel that there is no hope.

I was talking to my one true friend today and told her that I wanted to try and cheer myself up, by looking nice. I am not a dog, but not to attractive. When I "Do" something with myself most people make a HUGE deal about it.

I try to be social, but end up finding myself right back behind a wall or in a corner. Other than this horrible past I have no way to socialize with other people. the only thing I can relate to is abuse.

Can someone learn how to be social?
deleted_user
deleted_user
i dont know what you consider social?
but you can try the best you can.
talk to a stranger, strike up a conversation
I will be your friend. I know things are hard and togethor we will be ok
deleted_user
deleted_user
Can I relate. I can go to a party in a room full of people and no one would ever know I was there. Strike up a conversation - you might as well ask me to cure cancer! If I am with a group I will do anything to get out of that situation. I hate holidays as my wife will want to be with her family or my family - and I feel like I want to just be alone. I too feel the only way I can relate is to the abuse. I can relate if you are raping me - but thats about it.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I think you can learn to be social. Poeple like someone to take an intrest in them, so if you ask them ?'s about themselves you can get someone talking. My problem is if I'm in a depressed mood or tired(most of the time)I don't feel like talking and it's hard to force myself. A lot of times I find I'm not interested in what anyone has to say, because there's this cloud in my head, so I'll just withdraw into myself.
I also have a problem with being afraid of people judging me. I have a tendancy with others to act like I don't give a shit what anyone thinks. It was very hard for me to start writing in this site, even though noone knows who I am. I was always verbally abused as a kid, the only day of the year everyone in the family was nice was on my birthday.
Anyway, You can learn to be social, I think it just takes us a lot more effort.
deleted_user
deleted_user
What i can say is having kids is I am forced to get out and be social. And wether Im in the mood or not somtimes you can find people that have common onterests as you. Like working out, enev thoe I normally am social but now dealind with this abuse I feel like shit and am not myself. Maybe Take up a hobby like scrapbooking or just little thing here and there. Ask one person to be your walking partner? I dont know if this helps?
deleted_user
deleted_user
well i live out in a rural area and I don't know anyone out here very well. The people out here are not the type of people I can just walk up to and introduce myself, for two reasons. One is that i don't look or dress like they do, upscale type people who go to salons and that type, not that they are bad but I can't relate to that. and two is that I live out in a rural area, town is only a few minutes away, but I don't know of any hang outs or coffee houses or just anyplace that people can get together other than bars, and I am not comfortable in those types of places.

Even with my kid, if she has to do something for school, either she doesn't do it or someone else has to take her. I am so uncomfortable with who I am I can't go to her school.

My whole life I have had a hard time making and keeping friends. I am a self sabatager. I make it so that people don't want to be around me and I have not the first idea how to fix this problem.

thanks for the support though.
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