
Sexual Abuse Support Group
Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...

this2willpass
i just found this on a website, and the woman meant this seriously. what a fucking joke.....
So here is Karen's Handy Guide Number 1: Was it Rape?
Where are you when you regain consciousness?
If you are on the floor of an underpass in a pool of blood - you have been raped.
If you are in a bed (albeit with a minger) - you haven't.
What physical shape are you in?
If you are a child - you have been raped
If you are bruised and battered, clothing torn, nails ripped - you have been raped.
If you have a headache, a raging thirst and a need to vomit - you haven't.
Did you say 'no'.
If you shouted it repeatedly amidst the screams - you have been raped
If you didn't say anything because you were frozen with fear - you have been raped
If you didn't say anything out of politeness - you haven't
If you didn't say anything out of drunkeness - you haven't
What coercion did the man use?
If he used a knife, a gun or his fists - you have been raped.
If he offered you another glass of wine, or coffee, or said 'oh, go on,' - you haven't
When did you realise you had been raped?
If there was never any doubt in your mind - you have been raped
If you wondered afterwards, when you felt a bit dirty - you probably haven't
If you only realised when he didn't phone - you haven't
i tell you what, sometimes i wonder how people can think they know what they're talking about.
So here is Karen's Handy Guide Number 1: Was it Rape?
Where are you when you regain consciousness?
If you are on the floor of an underpass in a pool of blood - you have been raped.
If you are in a bed (albeit with a minger) - you haven't.
What physical shape are you in?
If you are a child - you have been raped
If you are bruised and battered, clothing torn, nails ripped - you have been raped.
If you have a headache, a raging thirst and a need to vomit - you haven't.
Did you say 'no'.
If you shouted it repeatedly amidst the screams - you have been raped
If you didn't say anything because you were frozen with fear - you have been raped
If you didn't say anything out of politeness - you haven't
If you didn't say anything out of drunkeness - you haven't
What coercion did the man use?
If he used a knife, a gun or his fists - you have been raped.
If he offered you another glass of wine, or coffee, or said 'oh, go on,' - you haven't
When did you realise you had been raped?
If there was never any doubt in your mind - you have been raped
If you wondered afterwards, when you felt a bit dirty - you probably haven't
If you only realised when he didn't phone - you haven't
i tell you what, sometimes i wonder how people can think they know what they're talking about.
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I hate stupidity!
I don't think she has had much contact with real victems.
she's nuts.
to me she is talking jiberish but thats just my opinion
The whole thing is worded horribly. I know there are people like this out there and, unfortunately, they are entitled to their opinion.
I could side with someone who said this: If you are only saying you were raped because you are angry or feel guilty you probably weren't raped.
People who make up rapes or claim rape for whatever reason make things so much harder for the rest of us.
Bottom line, I'm not sure what to make of this person. Either this person has never had any contact with someone who has been raped or she has and doesn't believe that person, or has been a victim themselves and doesn't want to accept that.
Whatever the reason, this shouldn't be out there. It's not true and I am sure it has most likely caused a few people to look at what happened to them and start questioning themselves.
What bullshit. People who don't know what they are talking about shouldn't put information like this out. It's SO harmful, to survivors and non-survivors alike.
Just so I am sure of what this person was getting at was fairly put above, may I ask to see this article in it's entirety? I believe strongly in even if someone says something I don't like, like above for example, to hear it out because there is probably a reason behind the words.
Best to all, and ignore these ignorant, profoundly false statements.
Persephone
This blog post was written in 2006, by a woman who HAS been raped. (The same man also led a gang rape of her sister a month earlier. )
So I think her point is, (albeit not very eloquently put) is: ladies, don't be stupid.
She was reacting to a recent ad campaign in Britain directed at men that says unless a woman says yes, the answer is no.
Her list, (posted at the top,) was followed by this:
"So here we go with the victim mentality thing again. I so resent this, because it removes power from women. Yes, it's over the top for people to believe that a woman is to blame for being raped if she is flirtatious, but equally, to 'go in for coffee', when you know, as well as the guy knows, that coffee is only on the menu the morning after (and if you don't, then I'm telling you, ok?) is plain asking for trouble. As is getting so blotto [drunk] you can't say no. And being too polite to say no. Men are DIM and think that all women fancy them and want to have sex with them. If you start from that premise (wrong as it surely is on some counts) then you won't go far wrong."
Later in her blog's comment section she says "I guess it's a bit like Little Red Riding Hood. When you know there are wolves about, you should take the appropriate precautions. The government might be better educating the Red Riding Hoods rather than trying to change the nature of wolves."
and this...
"Rape is rape, but changing your mind after having sex when you were blind drunk isn't, and I've known women who have cried rape when they cannot remember what has happened - so how would they know?"
and this...
"Call me overly cautious, but I ...I don't go home with men when I'm drunk unless I want to have sex with them."
and this...
"If your definition of rape is the same as mine ... then I agree entirely that the rapist is to blame. However, women crying rape when they have really made a misjudgment is just as wrong, and makes rape seem a less serious crime than it is."
She wants women to take ownership for their actions. I'm not saying I agree, but just presenting the context in which she wrote her list.
Interestingly, a very wise man posted an insightful analogy that went like this...
"ponder this one. I am a white middle class late 40's male. If I go wandering around Moss Side in the early hours of the morning, drunk and with money hanging out of my pockets, and a gang of hooded young men kick the shit out of me and take my money then I assume I have been robbed. If however I accept their invitation to go for a drink, then some hours later start to feel uncomfortable and threatened and in order to placate them continue to buy them drink and drugs and fail to object when they take my remaining money by cheating at poker, have I been robbed or have I been to a party?"
...apparently not ALL men are DIM!
Clearly there are two sides to this argument, but once burned twice shy. And I have a friend who was accused of rape two weeks after he got drunk with another friends girl and had sex with her and she called rape in order to defend/excuse(?) her actions and get back with her man. My friend went to jail. He admitted guilt, (BTW) so not sure what went down and no one does, but them, but the whole point is not to get yourself in that situation in the first place.
There are times when we got drunk and taken advantage of, (and yes it's rape) and there are times when we fought as hard as we knew how, there were times when we didn't have a choice and there were times when we did but we all suffer. I think being raped makes some people more defensive and it makes others more compliant. What do you think?
Remember her comment that "the rapist is entirely to blame." That part we all can agree on. Also remember that most people are raped by those they know. Like for me, two men I'd known ALL my freaking life, so I guess it's not fair to get all worked about what some smart-ass Brit said in her blog three years ago, out of context.
Just live responsibly, with integrity and stand up for yourself and your body. You owe yourself that much.