Sexual Abuse Support Group

Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...

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am i partly to blame

deleted_user
deleted_user
The night I was raped, I was at a bar celebrating my birthday with some friends, so I was pretty drunk. Earlier in the night I was on the dance floor with the rapist (and everyone else). Since I filed charges I heard that some people saw us kissing on the dance floor, which i don't remember. But of course I don't remember many details about the rape either. If I did in fact kiss him on the dance floor is it partly my fault that he had sex with me in the alley? I'm thinking of dropping the charges.
Shai
Shai
don't pull out. even if you two were kissing on the dance floor, it's not an open invitation.

and another thing, too. if you had agreed to having sexual relations with him...you were DRUNK. you weren't in your right mind, and he took advantage of that.

don't turn back now and try not to feel guilty. he's wrong.

if it had been the other way around, whereas, he was drunk out of his mind and kissing you, would you have taken advantage?
deleted_user
deleted_user
I didn't agree to it at all. i would never take advantage of someone who was drunk. thanks for the advice.
jeanette474
jeanette474
No, it was rape. Kissing another person is fine. Forcibly having sex with someone without their saying it was okay is a crime. My opinion only, but I think you might want to look up what rape really is legally . If you have a rape crisis center in your area, call them and ask their opinion. Think they will say the same thing. I was once going to be a counselor for victims and went to a lot of trainings on rape and incest. They would know exactly how you would need to go with this. They will also if you decide to bring charges accompany you to the court room and be an advocate as well. Hope this helps
deleted_user
deleted_user
I have already filed charges. Did the whole rape kit thing the night it happened and they put me in touch with a sexual assault advocate and i have a good friend who just got into that field too. thanks
deleted_user
deleted_user
It's not your fault! A kiss is one thing but rape is on an entirely different level.
deleted_user
deleted_user
WTF!! That is such bullshit! Kissing does not translate to consentual sex! It is not your fault.
deleted_user
deleted_user
kissing is not rape, no is no, if you did not particapate willingly then you were raped.


good luck
deleted_user
deleted_user
ABSOLUTELY NOT!!! You did not ask for that. Kissing and fondling do not mean you want to go "all the way". You could have some level of intimacy and not want sex. You keep up the fight.
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