Sexual Abuse Support Group
Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...
Ok, where to start? I recently started having memories (specific ones) of abuse by my step-father and his brother (possibly). I had a few days where I completely lost it. If your curious how request friendship (cant have too many here!) And you can read them.
I started to dissociate. I dont remeber (lol) having done that for at least 2 years. Then after about two days of freaking out over nothing I could name ( i wasnt having any memories at that time). I was trying to locate a psychiatrist through my insurance and I think I panicked. Im rambling but I swear Ill get to the point.
I feel like the person who wrote my journal entries wasnt me! Seriously. I cant even connect myself to the feelings I felt when I wrote them. It is disturbing the hell out of me. I am starting to wonder if only crazy people write stuff like that. I wonder how often Ive done something and not remembered it or couldnt associate myself to that person. Does this make any kind of sense?
Am I mentally unstable? Should I turn myself into a hospital? I dont feel the least bit suiciadal. Im not angry or even upset. But to read my journal you would think I was on the verge of doing myself in.
Now that I know for sure some of what happened to me, is my mind still trying to protect me? Do i have multiple personalities?
I can barely remember what I remembered about that time now. Its like every other thing in my life. Within a year I literally forget what happened last year. I cannot recall specific events of my life in any detail. Even as an adult. What the hell is wrong with me?
I started to dissociate. I dont remeber (lol) having done that for at least 2 years. Then after about two days of freaking out over nothing I could name ( i wasnt having any memories at that time). I was trying to locate a psychiatrist through my insurance and I think I panicked. Im rambling but I swear Ill get to the point.
I feel like the person who wrote my journal entries wasnt me! Seriously. I cant even connect myself to the feelings I felt when I wrote them. It is disturbing the hell out of me. I am starting to wonder if only crazy people write stuff like that. I wonder how often Ive done something and not remembered it or couldnt associate myself to that person. Does this make any kind of sense?
Am I mentally unstable? Should I turn myself into a hospital? I dont feel the least bit suiciadal. Im not angry or even upset. But to read my journal you would think I was on the verge of doing myself in.
Now that I know for sure some of what happened to me, is my mind still trying to protect me? Do i have multiple personalities?
I can barely remember what I remembered about that time now. Its like every other thing in my life. Within a year I literally forget what happened last year. I cannot recall specific events of my life in any detail. Even as an adult. What the hell is wrong with me?
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
It sounds like possibly something recently was a trigger for you that brought back some repressed memories. It's quite common for an abuse victim to become dis associative emotionally.
The best advice that I can give you is to seek help from a professional, whether that's a GP, psychiatrist or even a hotline/crisis line.
good luck
Do not be afraid of what you see, understand what is there. With understanding you can find the self acceptance of the situation and free yourself of pain and fear.
It can make you 'feel' like you are crazy...but you are NOT crazy. Nope! No!
Healing from SA is a long process and it rocks your world upside down...and you may notice yourself as a different person...the you BEFORE your healing of SA, and the you after you started having memories and started healing from SA.
A good therapist would be helpful and also a good psychiatrist for med management...it's hard to manage these symptoms without some med intervention.
Check out www.sidran.org for a wealth of info on SA Trauma and PTSD...you can also get referrals to local trauma therapists there as well.
Good Luck!