
Sexual Abuse Support Group
Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...

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I was molested by family members starting at around age 7. My grandmother knew about this and never seemed to care. I tried telling my mother, she told me to "stay away from them." The abuse continued until I was 16. I am 33 now and for whatever reason this has started to really bother me and I cannot figure out why. I understand that what happened was a bad thing, etc, but what I don't understand is why I feel so bad. It seems that this is all I can think about. Most of the time I am so full of rage and anger that I scare myself; other times I am so sad and depressed. I literally feel like at times I could seriously hurt someone. It seems that there is something missing, something that I am not getting that will explain all of this and I will be able to return to my normal self. I am so confused! I don't know what to do honestly. I can't talk about this; even saying the words aloud makes me start shaking and I feel like I will pass out. I can write about this to my fiance but I am afraid that eventually he is going to get sick of this crap. He tries to bring it up in conversation but I just freeze up and never say what I really want to. And then sometimes i really want to talk about it with him and I am unable to even say the words. What am I missing here? I feel like there is that ONE thing that I am not getting that is the answer to why I am feeling this way but I am just not getting it. Does this make any sense to anyone? Any advice???
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Abuse is a strange thing when it comes to the subconscience mind and how children process the experiences. I believe you are starting to step out of denial and this is your minds way of saying hey it time we dealt with this. I can't hold it in any longer.
As bad as it is for you it may not be a bad place to be if you reconize it for what it is and realize that unless you deal with it- it will affect everything in your life and i suspect it already has.
As to your finance. I was married to a women who i still consider my soul mate.
Becasue niether her or i dealt the abuses in our life. it cost us our marriage. We where both very open about it with each other before we got married.
I know you seem scared and confused right now and that really sucks.
The only comforting words I can give you is. If you deal with this now in a healthy way it will get better. Letting it eat you up (i know it is hard not to let it) will only cause greater damage.
Coming to this site is a good thing and asking for help is also a good thing.
Don't let this thing take anymore from you.
please take care of yourself.