
Sexual Abuse Support Group
Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...

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I'm going to respectfully request that men not post any comments to this one. If you have any questions, you can send them to me.
Okay, so, I'm not sure exactly how to put this, so bear with me. I was wondering if, because we are women having sex with women, if some of the dynamics of our sex lives are a little different in regards to acting out the sexual abuse.
I'm pretty aware about the ways in which I crave a re-enactment of being abused. And I wonder about my incredible knack for attracting women who want to do just that. The flip side is that when I feel this sense of pain and heartache that I know comes from my abuse, the thing that I feel like will resolve it is to either be penetrated in a violent way, or to treat my lover that way. I've been surprised at the rageful way I can conduct myself with a lover when I am in that state. I'm ashamed of it, but also it MAKES ME FEEL BETTER. So it's hard to stop.
I guess I'm trying to be aware of this cycle. Most abusers were abused, right? Because we are more likely to be physically able to take the power position, are lesbians more likely to act out the abuse as the abuser?
Okay, so, I'm not sure exactly how to put this, so bear with me. I was wondering if, because we are women having sex with women, if some of the dynamics of our sex lives are a little different in regards to acting out the sexual abuse.
I'm pretty aware about the ways in which I crave a re-enactment of being abused. And I wonder about my incredible knack for attracting women who want to do just that. The flip side is that when I feel this sense of pain and heartache that I know comes from my abuse, the thing that I feel like will resolve it is to either be penetrated in a violent way, or to treat my lover that way. I've been surprised at the rageful way I can conduct myself with a lover when I am in that state. I'm ashamed of it, but also it MAKES ME FEEL BETTER. So it's hard to stop.
I guess I'm trying to be aware of this cycle. Most abusers were abused, right? Because we are more likely to be physically able to take the power position, are lesbians more likely to act out the abuse as the abuser?
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Crystalraja: I think that's kinda what I'm pointing at. There's this circle where because we are lesbians, we sometimes are in many roles at once. Many men have to learn how to be a good partner to their gf or wife when they might trigger her memories of abuse. But what to do when you are both triggering each other? Try not to take what your ex said personally. She was remembering someone else, not you.
As for the 'are lesbians more likely to act out abuse' I think it depends. A lesbian relationship certainly offers more oppetunities for role taking and can be fraught with unhealthy emotions anyhow (guilt and shame unfortunately dog most of my relationships especially if the girls parents reacted badly)