Sexual Abuse Support Group
Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...
I learned so much on how to be a father through my failures and restoration from such disasters. I have been a bit emotional these last few days. Perhaps it is because I met a new friend that I find so beautiful. Who makes me feel safe that I am me. Perhaps it was going to a collage play that was all about educating women on how to save themselves from sexual abuse and other like crimes that destroy so many women. I was happy the massage was effective and so envious of these young woman and men who attended. There are so young and had I been awakened to the knowledge of such hell how much more effective would I have been in my role as comforter for my wife now my ex wife.
Today I get to see my children and all these emotions have been over whelming me. I truly love them and have something deep inside that trumps all of what I care about me. They are my air and blood. Without them I could not survive and would suffer such agony. I get to share Valentines Day with them today. I ran out to the story and got little red bags to stuff with little gifts and candy. I picked up to cards but instead of my little love dad and sealing I wrote something as well even though they may not understand. When I finished I could not help but to mourn for so many of you. I wondered if your father was me and I gave to you like I gave to my children would you ever know such a place as this? I am sharing this with you because in many ways regardless of age you are my children and I hurt for my failures that I could not make a difference in your lives.
This is my note to my daughter Psalm 8 and Sadie 4. But I share it with you because you when you were little should have been told this by so many of your fathers. With hopes that my efforts will break down the cycles that seem to repeat in our generations. Here are my letters.
Dear Psalm,
I have never been prouder in myself for the fact I earned you love. You are a special young girl who has a grasp the use of empathy to make others around you better. I am proud of you and though I work hard to provide you with life skills. You have cut your own way that is awesome. You never have to fear your creativity around me. I know youre like me in so many ways and that means you will carve your own path. I love the fact that I can say I am your father. I am happy that your name was due to my creativity and that it is unique and beautiful name. However as wonderful as your name is you are more wonderful then that. I promise to always love you because I know no matter what that I could never feel any less. I promise to always see your side of the story and hope that you will come to always trust me. I am not a perfect man and can never promise to be that for you. What I can promise you is I will always work very hard to get it right and fix my mistakes for you. With so much love I wish you a very happy Valentines Day and hope you will always be mine.
With much love,
Daddy
Dear Sadie,
I know you are little and cannot read this yet. However I must tell you and someday you will know this. From as little as you were in your mothers tummy, I loved you. You were my hope and my savior. Daddy had made so many choices that made me lose my way. I did not know your sister and though I was now ready to be there for her I could not find my way. You have another sibling who I hoped would be my bridge but something happened and we never got to see his face. You my dear baby rescued me. We did not know you were coming and at the time I had no hope in finding my way. You were sent to save me and help your father find his way home. For the moment of your arrival in your mother my course was brought to light. I found my way home to your sister and became her friend. For this I am forever grateful and can never repay you for what you brought me. You then gave me another gift one that I will never take for granted because of what Psalm thought me. You loved me from first sight and gave me the gift of our bond. I know you have a deep love for your mother and it is powerful. But you made room to love me just as special. We named you after a Princess and by God you lived up to your name. You are so much a princess that wields your power with mercy. You have be a gift from the very first moment. You must have seen your dad trying and losing hope and you did not settle for this and forced your way down to me. I have been angry with God for a long time for many things I still dont understand why. You were definitely and answer to my prayer. I have become a man because of you and a father with honor. You are precious to me and hope you can always trust me. I want you to know I will always be there for you. In light or darkness because we all ready been in both and we came out alive and are with few equals. I love you so much Sadie and am happy that youre my little Valentine! I only long for that will never stray as friends. Know I will always have your back even when should if we ever disagree. Know that I am proud of you and I love you so that you will trust me.
With never ending love and thanks,
Daddy
I wish you all know this is how a must love his children with all his soul. Had most of you never been failed in this area we would never be like spirits with the same scars. I love you all and wish you a Happy Valentin's day. You deserve love and a worth to be loved this was never your fault and you are without blame. From a man who knows. Jeffrey
Today I get to see my children and all these emotions have been over whelming me. I truly love them and have something deep inside that trumps all of what I care about me. They are my air and blood. Without them I could not survive and would suffer such agony. I get to share Valentines Day with them today. I ran out to the story and got little red bags to stuff with little gifts and candy. I picked up to cards but instead of my little love dad and sealing I wrote something as well even though they may not understand. When I finished I could not help but to mourn for so many of you. I wondered if your father was me and I gave to you like I gave to my children would you ever know such a place as this? I am sharing this with you because in many ways regardless of age you are my children and I hurt for my failures that I could not make a difference in your lives.
This is my note to my daughter Psalm 8 and Sadie 4. But I share it with you because you when you were little should have been told this by so many of your fathers. With hopes that my efforts will break down the cycles that seem to repeat in our generations. Here are my letters.
Dear Psalm,
I have never been prouder in myself for the fact I earned you love. You are a special young girl who has a grasp the use of empathy to make others around you better. I am proud of you and though I work hard to provide you with life skills. You have cut your own way that is awesome. You never have to fear your creativity around me. I know youre like me in so many ways and that means you will carve your own path. I love the fact that I can say I am your father. I am happy that your name was due to my creativity and that it is unique and beautiful name. However as wonderful as your name is you are more wonderful then that. I promise to always love you because I know no matter what that I could never feel any less. I promise to always see your side of the story and hope that you will come to always trust me. I am not a perfect man and can never promise to be that for you. What I can promise you is I will always work very hard to get it right and fix my mistakes for you. With so much love I wish you a very happy Valentines Day and hope you will always be mine.
With much love,
Daddy
Dear Sadie,
I know you are little and cannot read this yet. However I must tell you and someday you will know this. From as little as you were in your mothers tummy, I loved you. You were my hope and my savior. Daddy had made so many choices that made me lose my way. I did not know your sister and though I was now ready to be there for her I could not find my way. You have another sibling who I hoped would be my bridge but something happened and we never got to see his face. You my dear baby rescued me. We did not know you were coming and at the time I had no hope in finding my way. You were sent to save me and help your father find his way home. For the moment of your arrival in your mother my course was brought to light. I found my way home to your sister and became her friend. For this I am forever grateful and can never repay you for what you brought me. You then gave me another gift one that I will never take for granted because of what Psalm thought me. You loved me from first sight and gave me the gift of our bond. I know you have a deep love for your mother and it is powerful. But you made room to love me just as special. We named you after a Princess and by God you lived up to your name. You are so much a princess that wields your power with mercy. You have be a gift from the very first moment. You must have seen your dad trying and losing hope and you did not settle for this and forced your way down to me. I have been angry with God for a long time for many things I still dont understand why. You were definitely and answer to my prayer. I have become a man because of you and a father with honor. You are precious to me and hope you can always trust me. I want you to know I will always be there for you. In light or darkness because we all ready been in both and we came out alive and are with few equals. I love you so much Sadie and am happy that youre my little Valentine! I only long for that will never stray as friends. Know I will always have your back even when should if we ever disagree. Know that I am proud of you and I love you so that you will trust me.
With never ending love and thanks,
Daddy
I wish you all know this is how a must love his children with all his soul. Had most of you never been failed in this area we would never be like spirits with the same scars. I love you all and wish you a Happy Valentin's day. You deserve love and a worth to be loved this was never your fault and you are without blame. From a man who knows. Jeffrey
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A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...
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Today is my 25th birthday, to my somewhat lack of surprise I can see already no one really seems to care. I've always been the kinda person to make sure that everyone I Care about feels appreciated and knew somebody had their back. I can count 4 times this year when I Went out of my way to make sure a "friend" felt good on their birthday, especially if they got left hanging. Its early in the...
You know now that not every man is capable of sexually abusing his own flesh and blood, and you do not have to be afraid.
HUGS to you hon, I hope you all had a happy day.
Yah I know many men cant harm their own flesh and blood. However no matter how many times I think about it and still cannot come to reason why a man a smart as me was so effected and able to think such things about myself. I only know I loved the man responsible for my ex wifes abuse then finding out his dark secrete but still seeing him do good things for others it was hard to pull apart my feelings. Then in the delivery room when I identified with him and felt like him because he wept over my baby the same way as me. I thought I was going to be him and lost my way for a while. Something sad about it is I dont know my daughters picture them first 3 years. Not so long ago I was weeping over pictures of my beautiful baby because I did not recognize her. If I took bunch pictures of little girls the same age and put my baby among them. I would not find her. Her face at that age is lost to me and I still cant find it. However like you said. I took my disaster and did not settle for it. Now I have a relationship with her that is closer then close and we are best buds were thick as blood real family.
I am so cool with you reading my profile. I left it open so people can trace my wounds and touch my pain. Then know why I care and my objectives for helping. I hate with more the most can hate the injustice of sexual abuse and how we were left to fend for ourselves broken and alone while the perps move on unharmed to begin again the destruction of another soul. I know my body was never violated and in some since I was never molested. However I was abused because through my love for my ex wife it was as if I had to watch her be abused over and over and I was forced to watch, bound and, muted so that I could do nothing to make it stop. It entered me in the most private way and violated my innocence. I felt the depths of hell and how no one was there to save me. I was alone self loathing feeling unworthy of love. I was failing everyone I loved and hurting them. I came out of this hell to be a healthy man. I am a survivor and I am proud of my rise from the ashes. I see my best friend in the mirror ever day. Sometimes he winks at me! Sometimes I see myself when I was broken hurting alone and such a loser. I look ragged and pitiful. He looks at me and smiles and tells me thank you. He tells me I rescued him and did not let him down. He is proud of me and that he said who I am today made his hell mean something. He understands why he had to hurt so badly and had endured such wounds. He tells me I was worth it..