Sexual Abuse Support Group
Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...
Hello everyone.
I'm part of another group here on DS. I debated for a long time whether I should join this group. I just felt my experience of sexual abuse wasn't very serious. I understand most of you here have been through a lot worse than what I have and my heart goes out to you. I just have been very affected by what happened and have started seeing a counsellor and for what its worth, this is my story:
While I was dating my ex, I was sexually assaulted. From the day I met him he was always extremely sexual. The night I met him, in his car, he tried to put his hands down my pants and I said no. Instead we made out very heavily. The next time I saw him he tried it again, I said no, then he asked me for a blow job and I said no. He just kept pressuring me over and over. The third time I saw him, we were making out and he asked if he could finger me and I said no. Well we were making out, suddenly I felt him force his finger inside me and I said "no, stop" and he just kept doing it so I had to actually grab his hand and force it out. I think I'm so bothered by this because I was a virgin and I had never before had any sexual contact with a man. Anyways, I wish I had left then and there, but I continued to date him another few months.
I know what happened isn't really a huge deal, but it has affected me. I have struggled with lifelong depression and suicidal thoughts and eating disorders from early childhood abuse, and this just seemed to make it all worse. I'm currently unemployed and had a severe breakdown a few weeks ago. I keep spacing out about what happened.
So that is my story and thanks very much for reading.
I'm part of another group here on DS. I debated for a long time whether I should join this group. I just felt my experience of sexual abuse wasn't very serious. I understand most of you here have been through a lot worse than what I have and my heart goes out to you. I just have been very affected by what happened and have started seeing a counsellor and for what its worth, this is my story:
While I was dating my ex, I was sexually assaulted. From the day I met him he was always extremely sexual. The night I met him, in his car, he tried to put his hands down my pants and I said no. Instead we made out very heavily. The next time I saw him he tried it again, I said no, then he asked me for a blow job and I said no. He just kept pressuring me over and over. The third time I saw him, we were making out and he asked if he could finger me and I said no. Well we were making out, suddenly I felt him force his finger inside me and I said "no, stop" and he just kept doing it so I had to actually grab his hand and force it out. I think I'm so bothered by this because I was a virgin and I had never before had any sexual contact with a man. Anyways, I wish I had left then and there, but I continued to date him another few months.
I know what happened isn't really a huge deal, but it has affected me. I have struggled with lifelong depression and suicidal thoughts and eating disorders from early childhood abuse, and this just seemed to make it all worse. I'm currently unemployed and had a severe breakdown a few weeks ago. I keep spacing out about what happened.
So that is my story and thanks very much for reading.
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I gave my 2 week notice last Friday 13th. Now to join you fine people in a life of leisure and nothing else to do but to look out for myself....is it just me or does that sound pretty boring? My goal was to live to retire and I guess having to take early retirement because of health reasons wasn't exactly the way I had planned things. I just can't stay in that building that is reeking mildew...
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
I'm sorry you had to endure this. While everyone has different stories, all abuse wrecks lives, Part of my own abuse, that part which has actually affected me the most, didn't involve any physical contact;but it was still abuse and it had a major effect on much of my teen and adult life.
What happened to you legally counts (in the UK anyway) on a par with rape. It's serious sexual assault by penetration and carries the same custodial sentence as rape. It may have been a finder not a penis, but it's just as much a violation. No means no.
Thanks for having the courage to post. If you're able to access it, you may find therapy very helpful.
Good luck.
I think that sexual violations of any kind can really affect your self-respect, confidence, relationships, and your sexuality. Whether it be witnessing your mom being hurt badly in that way, obliging out of confusion or fear. Maybe even going to far by your own choice.
I'm so glad that you wrote this down and shared it with the world. You are not alone anymore. We are here with you to hold the pain and help you put the burden where it should be - with your abuser.
The difficulty we have when we're violated is that ..... we've been violated. It's a long climb out of feelings of helplessness, hopelessness, loss, guilt, shame, badness, and ..... (put your own adjectives here). I'm down there climbing still myself. Sometimes I fall down and it takes me a while to try to climb back up. It's a difficult job, but I just have to tell myself that living in pain really *is* an option and there's a better life out there. And then I have to convince myself that I'm worth it, or that it's OK.
But what I want you to say is that you are worth this healing. So climb, my dear. I am right there with you.
BIG HUGS!
Ellen
Dr beaker, yes, where I live as well (Canada) what happened is also considered a rape. To me what happened isn't as bad as if he had actually penetrated me with a sexual organ but I still feel really violated b/c it was my first time. I feel especially humiliated becuase I found out he was cheating on me. I am trying some counseling to get through this, I'm willing to do whatever it takes there is absolutely no way I'm letting him and this event ruin my life.
Love is truth, it is going to be a long climb back up. I'm glad to hear you are making the journey as well, good luck to you :)