Sex / Pornography Addiction Support Group

Sexual addiction, also sometimes called sexual compulsion, is a form of psychological addiction to sexual intercourse and other sexual behavior.

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Understanding an addiction?

Susan842
Susan842
I am soo confused about my husband and want to know if this is how it works. He has cheated on me with numerous people online (never physical but it is still wrong) and he keeps acting like how dare I not trust him.. and this time him chatting with a woman is different and I am soo mean for looking over his shoulder. I don't understand him. How could he ever think I would trust him...ever. I mean, he has done this more times than I can count. I get mad, and he acts like...I am so mean and how dare I. He recently started chatting with another woman "friend" and when I said..no, he got all mad and said he needed someone to talk to and now he has noone. Like I am taking his friend away from him. Its always about him and his need and never, ever mine.

Is this how an addict thinks? I think he is in so much denial and needs therapy and help. He has done this to every relationship he has been in and always blamed the woman for his ways..not enough sex, not enough kisses, the kids drive him nuts...blah blah blah.. Please help me understand an addict and is there help for him...can he get better? He says he wants to, but I don't know anymore.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Talk to RobertBishop

The answer is that he has a problem, and you are being abused. The question is why are you ok with this? I know I know,,we've been married,,,we love each other.... but you know what, he is doing something he know hurts you. Why is that ok with you?

Sea
deleted_user
deleted_user
i think that you should both talk to a therapist about this. seperatly and together.
there is help, if that's what he chooses.
someone here gave me this great link

http://www.recoverynation.com/
deleted_user
deleted_user
It sounds like he is trying to throw the blame and shame onto you which is a typical addicts behavior. They don't want the focus to be on them so they say and do things to make you think you're crazy and it's your fault.

If he's been doing this for years and he doesn't admit he has a problem or want to change then he never will. I've been dealing with my boyfriend and his sex/porn addiction and he says he wants to stop but he always goes back to it. I just don't think he's ready to do something about the problem or even admit he has a problem. It's one thing to say to you that he'll change but it a totally different thing to actually put that change into action and really and truly make the conscious decision to change.

I hope this helps. I also think you should talk to Robertbishop. He's awesome and has helped me recently with my questions and concerns.

good luck to you.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Understanding an addict is kind of like trying to read Chinese.....if you know what the signs and symbols mean, then you can begin to interpret part of it, but you have to be Chinese to understand it clearly.
Sex and porn addiction are complicated, at first, to understand. What you described above is typical to some addicts. Sex addiction is a selfish and self-centered thing. It isn't something that you can "cure" him of.....he has to realize what he is doing as an addiction and work towards recovery.
Getting into a program such as SAA or a local men's recovery group would be a great start, or getting into an online recovery group such as recoverynation or Higher-Calling. Message me and I can give you more information.
deleted_user
deleted_user
And thanks to Sea and debbier. Y'all are the awesome ones :)
deleted_user
deleted_user
Hmmmmm
deleted_user
deleted_user
The first step is your husband needs to except he has a problem and get help. You need to also get help for yourself. Addiction is a disease, and we have a disease also its called co-dependency. When your husbands blames his actions on others its because he uses thoughs reasons as an excuse to use.

I highly recommend attending CODA meetings for yourself, it helped me out quite a bit.
deleted_user
deleted_user
The first step is your husband needs to except he has a problem and get help. You need to also get help for yourself. Addiction is a disease, and we have a disease also its called co-dependency. When your husbands blames his actions on others its because he uses thoughs reasons as an excuse to use.

I highly recommend attending CODA meetings for yourself, it helped me out quite a bit.
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