I want to ask everyone who is a part of this community and may have become unhappy with the recent comments and posts to please, please, please think long and hard before leaving it. I have had messages from several members who have either removed themselves or are considering removing themselves from this forum because of a few off-color or disturbing and annoying posts.
Now, I am not a part of the administration of this site, nor do I have anything to do with running the forums or "moderating" discussions. I am just a member who is an addict and has been through a lot in the 28 years I spent addicted to porn and sex. When I first began to recover from those years of addiction, a forum very similar to this gave me a start towards recognition of my addiction and my recovery. Had I known the DS existed then, I probably would have joined up first thing. The point being that this site, and in particular this forum, are important to recovering addicts and their spouses/partners. For us addicts, this is quite possibly the one place to find help and answers. The support of this community for one another is huge, and is greatly appreciated by many. For the spouse/partners, this site is a place to find answers to questions that no one else is comfortable or willing to answer. After all, not too many people can exactly sit down with someone and say," So, how do I get my husband to stop masturbating to porn?" Most people would look at you and either change the subject or just walk away!
Recently there have been a few people who have come on here and posted obnoxious and irritating posts that many people feel are directed towards us in order to cause someone to slip up or just to "poke fun" at us. While that may very well be the case for some, I think that others may have posted legitimate questions, and just aren't too sure how to ask their questions the right way. We as addicts have the tendency to overreact sometimes ( I know that I have in the past, just ask ChicagoDave or a few others:) )
when we read an "offensive" post. If someone has posted something maliciously, shame on you!
My personal opinion is that people who do this are most likely making fun of the one thing that they themselves cannot control, or refuse to admit to. In other words, they are cowards who use their own addictions to try and make others stumble so they don't feel so bad about themselves. If that is the case with some of you who have been posting inappropritely, I invite you to take a long, hard and deep look at your own life and look at what is driving you sexually. Are you in control, I mean really in control, of what you do sexually? Or, are you just making excuses like,"Oh, I can quit any time I want to" or "I'm not hurting anyone, so why should I stop" or you might think you actually can control yourself.
Go ahead and lie to yourself and your spouse or partner. Go ahead and tear yourself apart with your lusts and desires. Carelessly destroy your spouse/partner's life as well as your own. Some day, you will have to answer for what you've done. STD's, rape, assaults, and murder can come from your unsafe sexual practices. Divorce, alimony, child support, and lonliness can become your new "lover" because you refuse to get a grip on your addiction.
Folks, I know I've run this long, and I'm sorry. I just do not want to see someone else leave this place when they are getting the help and support that they need. Let these idiots post their crap. They are the losers i htis, not us. Please stay and support this community, I beg you. Let's keep this a place that we all can come to and find the answers, love,understanding, and support we all need.