my fiance was also a porn addict. unlike yours mine also claimed to be a christian and youth pastor. makes no difference who you are, porn addiction will consume your mind. in my case i married this man. its been one year and we are on our way to divorce. he used all my money, left me with a huge debt, took all the money that was left, and left me with our unborn child. i did some research into this addiction and learned that men who are consumed by this do not have the ability to care about anyone but themselves. don't look back on your life with regret like I have. i feel like my life is over. you are young and have your whole life ahead of you

Sorry for sounding harsh, but here it is...you're engaged to a porn addict, drug user and criminal.

He may have many great qualities, none of which you mention. But do you want to start your adult life with someone in this situation?

Consider making him work for the right to be with you. Once he proves he is in control of his demons and problems, perhaps you can make the decision to marry him.

Until then, maybe you should think that you deserve better. Just my two cents. Best of luck to you.

I think your question means, how much extreme pain do you need to experience before feeling justified in saving yourself. Only you know that. Maybe on some level you feel you deserve to be treated very badly. Maybe you think deep down that you do not deserve anyone better than him. Maybe you don't feel that a decent man could love you.
Try to work out these issues before he gets out. Try to figure out why you are willing to settle for what to me, sounds like one of the worst relationship experiences I have ever heard.

HI mb32- you're like me, your picker is broken. I started going to Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA)8 years ago. I finally understood why I picked such losers. As Chicago Dave pointed out - all you told us is what is wrong with this guy. I learned that if I lead off telling people about the lasted guy, if I lead off with what is wrong with him, it is a sign he's just plain icky. Also, he must have some awesome potential because he sounds like he's hitting bottom.

You deserve someone so much better.

A couple of other great resources are "If the Buddha Dated" by Charlotte Kasl - it is not about Buddha, it is about having healthy relationships. Also, Facing Sex and Love Addiction, by Pia Melody. One of my worst was a homeless cowboy. He really didn't have potential, I just felt sorry for him. One of the signs of love addiction is "the need to be rescued or to rescue." I think this boy needs to rescue himself and you need to move on, but get some help - otherwise you'll pick another one, just like him.
I think it is great you were willing to ask for help on this site. Keep us posted.

If he a youth pasture of a church He should know that is not of god to look at porn but the way to live with the anti Christ. he should also know that doing marijuana is not following the word of god because it's says in the bible you have to follow the law of the land if it follows the law of god. and ask him if he wants help with these problems and if he does check on him to see if he making an effort. and if he not you should leave. and if he says no leave him.

my fiance was a porn addict, with a few other addictions as well
when i found out...i thought it was my fault. I'm too fat and too ugly, that no one else would ever really love me because i'm "used goods" so i might as well stay with him....he wants to marry me.... who would?

knowing what other ppl felt has helped me here. i hope it can be helpful here too.

btw.... I felt such relief when we split 2&1/2 yrs later... i see now that there are pleanty of other fish in the water...and ya know what....maybe i don't want any at all?
you deserve good things.