Well, I don't know what normal is. All I know is that ever since my sister killed herself, I pick up anyone who will look at me and have sex. Like every single day and often more than once. It is great in the moment and then as long as he leaves, I get that lovely numb feeling. I think I have more of a problem than I thought. I went really too far Thursday night. Now I think its all bigger than just my sis. But how do you start to get help? Also, I notice most people in this group are men. Are there women here too?

i'm so sorry to hear of your sister's passing. you sound like you are reacting and then finding something solid to hold onto buy maybe it's really not solid? i don't know. i am brand new to this community although many moons ago it was suggested that i belonged here. i will tell you that then, there were certainly more men than women. i am going to google local slaa meetings for a start. just saying.... you can talk to me any time you want.

What a good point. It feels solid while its happening and then it just isnt. I am going to stick around this group for a bit and see what has worked for others. I am getting in too deep, that's for sure. And sorry, the people who say JUST STOP, don't understand. If I could stop, I wouldn't be here.

Thanks for writing.

Seaside, I am one of those who has said to "just stop" more than once, and I do understand it, all too well. 28 years of struggling with sex and porn addiction qualifies me to say that. After 28 years, it was actually my wife who said,"ENOUGH" and I had to choose: either I find a way to stop and get help, or lose my family. I made the choice to "stop", I sought help, and now, 1 year later, life is coming back to "normal" again. It's all about understanding that what you do is a choice. No one holds a gun to your head nad makes you sleep with someone else. No one is forcing you to do anything, you "choose" to do it. If you can understand that, then you can understand how to stop.
Is it PTSD, or guilt, or even a weakness? No one knows except you. You know yourself better than anyone else does. Look back at when you first started. You say that after your sister died you started doing this. In my opinion, you are using sex to numb your feelings out of fear and pain. No matter how many men you sleep with, it will not erase the pain. What you are doing is masking the pain and not dealing with it. Maybe you can't accept what your sister did. I don't know, but based on what you've written, I'd advise you to find a grief counselor and find an SLAA or an SAA group. Deal with her death first, and you might find that your sexual behavior subsides.
Just my opinion.

ninasimone,
I can only suggest that what you are experiencing is the beginnings of an addiction. It doesn't sound like it has progressed too far yet, but if you cannot get control of it now, you could get in too deep quickly.
I would suggest that you sit down with your S.O> and discuss this. Get it out in the open and talk about it. Sometimes talking through it is best. Posting here is also helpful, as you can get different perspectives on it.

nina,
My addiction started just like yours. I started chatting and talking to men. Once you break down and actually meet a man, it is very difficult to stop. Try to get to an slaa meeting before that happens. I live close to you and I know there are several meetings in nj. I started after I couldn't take the mental abuse from my husband and the stress of having a son with add/ocd combined. My psychologist says it is out of anger. You are probably angry about your sister's death or, as robertbis said, trying to numb the pain. Please get help now before it gets harder.

i'm sorry to hear about your sister. The fact that you've made a connection between the 2 issues is really good though... thank you for getting me thinking on that path.

and thank you to everyone that has relpied to this.

i'm kinda in the dark about this as well.
i was always afraid saa was a bad idea....i mean....i know ppl hook-up in AA even though they really shouldn't...
and i just don't want any temptations.
i don't have an internet related addiction....just sex in general =/ so i thought it was safer here? less tempting?

funluv is correct i think, about me. i do have a proclivity towards thinking outside my relationship and, in fact, finding fault with my significant other in order to justify feeling attracted and connected outside. in other words, i't s his fault, not mine. if he wasn't so __________ (your word here), i would feel more attracted to him. also, robert, i have spoken with my s.o. yesterday and his addictive background has allowed him a better understanding than someone who comes from a non-addictive background. slaa meetings tend to be full of sex addicts who are males vs. women who are love/romance addicts in my experience. there should be more meetings AND they should not be coed to begin with. my opinion. all: thanks for the input.

nina, wow...i've done this before
thank you for posting this!

so it's still cheating if your partner is cheating as well huh? I never really considered it as doing so untill you wrote "if he wasn't so _____ i wouldn't...."

i would feel safer in an all womens group for actual meetings...no matter what ppls orientation is
but is that possible? and isn't it kinda a good thing to learn how to deal with the opposite gender?
bleh.... *confused*

btw....if i start thinking the wrong sort of thoughts i start thinking about gross things like foot fungus and kitty litter. haha eewwies!

i'm sorry to keep posting so much hear =[
i just feel like i'm piecing things together,...working things out in my brain ya know?

i just realised that this addiction came about roughly around the same time i stopped "self-injury"....i just put my foot down and said no more.
problem there is i can't remember back far enough to see what started that one =/

i just want to say thank you to everyone here for speaking your minds....it's been a big help

Well, absitinence lasted 2 days. It was the usual, I felt like hell, went out. I wasn't going to cruise, but I drank and there he was. Details you all know too well. Hot as anything last night, felt great but went way beyond even my worst. Feel like the scum of the planet today. No way for my sis to be remembered. Back to Day 1. -Sea

do you feel like there is a connection between what we've been learning here in the last few days...and this "way beyond"?

i really wanted to see if i could stop... i don't know how to word things with out using triggers =/

let's just say...i couldn't go more then a couple days myself...and i'm in a stronger then usual mode lately

your not scum! pls message me next time you get urges...even if i'm not online i stop in oftain!
as they said on another community here "us ladies need to stick together"
i have a list of turn-offs i use. . . i never tried them when i was active with other people....but it helps some with triggers