
Sex / Pornography Addiction Support Group
Sexual addiction, also sometimes called sexual compulsion, is a form of psychological addiction to sexual intercourse and other sexual behavior.

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I am so angry right now that I feel anything but love for my husband of six years. I am numb with hurt and have nowhere to turn as I don't understand. He says he loves me and wants to make it work but he said that the two times before and never did anything about it. I am ready to just let it all go. I live in a passionless marraige where we are friends but unless I initiate or invite him to make love there is nothing. This morning I caught him for the third time using the internet in aid of pleasuring himself by checking the cache on the computer (no trust since the first time). could use advice please.
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I'm new to this forum but I've been looking at porn online ever sense I was about 15. I've been, ( this is embarassing to admit ) been masterbating since I was about 12-13 y/o.
Me personally, even if I had a g/f, I would most likely continue to look at porn even after we get together.
If he's anything like me, I have no idea about sex addiction. I'm new to this and just found out that I a sex/porn addict.
All I can really say is, he might be a nympho and if you want him to stop looking at porn, have a lot of sex with him. I'm not sure if that's good/bad advice but if I were dating a girl, it would keep me from looking at porn.
He has to WANT to stop.. realize how you feel.. He needs to admit he is actually addicted and seek help of some sort if you want it to stop. Until he admits it and starts help hun.. it will only go on..I hate to say that, but it is the truth. He has to understand how this has effected you in order to get the trust and love back. It took me a year (I moved in a year ago) of nothing but lies and pain before I heard those words. Not to mention the.. I can't live like this anymore and seriously thinking of leaving him! I am not sure how long you two have been going through this together, but you need to talk to him and let him know just how serious you are and how it is effecting you. It is a LONG rode with many bumps and only you can decide if you can stand beside him through this or not.
I know the best thing for me was to know I wasn't alone in this long rough.. so many ppl are just so full of anger and will only tell you to leave.. I wasn't ready to give up just yet so I started a free online workshop to help me understand what he is going through, what I am going through and to heal. You need to think about something like that now hun.. or this will follow you for the rest of your life! The more I learned, the more I knew he was addicted.. the more I realized it wasn't him.. but the addiction that was hurting me. It took a year of hearing.. I am not addicted because I can stop anytime I want to.. and so many more things before ours came to a peak.
I am not sure if I helped, or made things worse but I do wish you the best of luck in decided what for me what the toughest question yet! Peace, Love and Light, Libelle
I can relate to what you're going through. From the interent stuff to the passionless marriage you describe. You are not alone. The best advice I can give is to focus on taking care of yourself. Several people have mentioned that your husband needs to hit a low and admit he has a problem... There is nothing you can do to make that happen - trust me. All you can do is help yourself to get stronger right now. What helped me was - this site, finding support groups (S-Anon, CoSA - for partners of sex addicts), books - anything by Patrick Carnes, CoDependent No More by Melanie Beattie (among other books by her), and getting my own therapist. Take it one day at a time or an hour at a time - whatever you need to do. We are here for you.
He has admitted it... tried to stop on his own, but every two months I would find something. This broke my trust so harshly after trying to work though it and trust again... only to be repeatedly disappointed. I had asked him to get help and he said he would, but waited and waited...
Unti the last time I found porn (about 2 months ago) was 'IT'. He has been to 4 sessions now, and I've been to one where I discovered that he was leaving out some of the contents of his problem - which was hard for me to admit myself.
Another thing was that at a very young age, he was put in situations with other children by an adult that may have spouted these problems today. He had learnt that this is appropriate behaviour. So, an an adult, he lived in his secret world of pornography.
I almost left many times. It was extremely hard on me... and is still as we are trying to understand various aspects of the whole thing, and heal together one step at a time. I could say the biggest reason why I am still here is that I don't want him to go back to it. I will not cave and allow such disfunctional behaviour continue! It's Not RIGHT! It Has to STOP! He knows it, too.
I am just recently trying to give him more trust. I have been abosulty untolerable at times b/c of my torturous insecurities about things. He has hurt me so much, repeatedly, that I'm always looking for it...expecting it. That's not a good way to deal with it. Doesn't help anything at all. But, when I am being irrational, he needs to tell me instead of getting mad himself - ingaging the situation. I told him that he has to take some responsibility in this. I was never like this before in my life. My feelings are a direct result of his actions.
I need him to communicate with me. He does not do that well, but is trying. I need reassurance from him, especially when we are out. There are many times where he would stare at other girls infront of me with no regard to myself. That told me that he was sexually interested in other women, and made me feel undesirable, not good enough, hurt, angry, depressed.
It's a hard thing for a girl to go through. I know that I have support here, and can relate to many other women. I've felt all alone for so long.
My goals are to function normally again, trust in the progress of healing, and just be happy like we use to be before all of this. Most people may disagree, but I realize that forgiveness is the only thing that will release me of my demons.