Sex / Pornography Addiction Support Group

Sexual addiction, also sometimes called sexual compulsion, is a form of psychological addiction to sexual intercourse and other sexual behavior.

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/ Sex / Pornography Addiction Support Group

I am addictied to Adult Webcams and Porn

deleted_user
deleted_user
I am only 19. I have been in a stable relationship for more than a year now. I started looking at webcams which I knew cost about 4 dollars a minute on average. Well it went way out of control. I racked up about 340 dollars in what I owe the site. The site gave me some money back when I demanded a refund but I still have to pay it. If I don't they will turn me into the police for fraud which I used my own card. My problem: My husband controls all my money and bills. He doesn't know about this little "spending spree." I didn't spend it on shoes or make up, I spent my money on porn. How do I tell him? Or how can I pay the 340 behind his back?
flutterbyfly
flutterbyfly
Have you questioned why you became this indulged in the webcams? I would explore that. Or else this could get alot worse for you and your marriage. I wouldn't keep it a secret. That will damage your marriage in the end worse than you telling him.
deleted_user
deleted_user
compartmentalizing is a problem for relationship growth. It's common among SA's. Not being honest, by omission, is one of the aspects of it. Maybe you can find some inexpensive counseling to help you find and face what's really going on. In the end, you will need to own up to who you really are. IMO, other wise your partner doesn't have a relationship with "you" but rather with an illusion.
flutterbyfly
flutterbyfly
So very true Jim. Well said. Overcoming.... I had NO idea, but I was trying to get through things and heal with what I thought was the real me. FOR YEARS!!! My whole life! But it wasn't. IT was a false self I had created because as a child I didn't feel truly loved as my authentic self. That's why I could never figure things out. B/c I wasn't truly being honest with myself and didn't know my authentic self had never come out.

You will continue to go in circles with this until you get real with yourself. It hurts like hell. But its necessary to ever go on and heal and have a fulfilled honest life.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I reply with some reluctance. Clearly you have a porn addiction. You need to seek help. You feel your life is out of control, and that is a serious sign of addictive and obsessive/compulsive behavior.

So...He controls all the money? Do you work? Why do you allow him to control you with money? Are you into a Dominant/submissive role with him?? Just asking...

In good conscience, I cannot suggest any method of paying it off behind his back. You need to come clean with him, and I really suggest you have more control over your financial life.

Please find a SLAA group (Sex & Love Addicts Anonymous) near you - start a group yourself if you need to!!! One on one counseling may help you a lot. It has helped me greatly.

YOU NEED A PROGRAM TO STAY SOBER!!! Find one that works for you and work the program!!!

You have my sincerest best wishes...
stephanietram
stephanietram
If you tell him specifically how you plan to overcome this addiction problem, he may be more understanding and forgiving.
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