
Sex / Pornography Addiction Support Group
Sexual addiction, also sometimes called sexual compulsion, is a form of psychological addiction to sexual intercourse and other sexual behavior.

deleted_user
Hello. I am new to this discussion group. I am writing b/c I am a little worried about my relationship with my husband. My concern is brought about now since we are getting a new computer in a few weeks. We were without one for a year, and to be honest I would be without one forever. A couple years ago after we had our first child, my husband was wrapped up in porn.It was the worst times. I cried all the time, and the time I could have spent loving my son, I wasted on being hurt. My husband would be on whenevr he had a chance. He made up stories. I learned to check his history, and he learned to erase it. Every night he would be in there. I hated walking into that room, b/c of the memories it brought. Our carpet was ruined by him, in that room.( That may be a little too descriptive, but I have to be honest.) Soon I got a filter, but he fouund his way around that also. I was always physically sick, b/c I new he would be on that while my innicent son was in the other room. I told him that we are getting rid of th internet, and he agreed. We also begin seeing a Christian counselor. During this time, he went on a business trip with his laptop. When he returned, I checked out his comp., and was devastated what I found. Files of 13-14 year olds having sex. My heart collapsed. He was in denial, but admitted to it and wanted to kill himself. Now he is supposed to be Christian, yet he never acts like it. He told me he only viewed this type of material a few times. Once is enough. I want to work it out. He says he knows how wrong it is. I just feel like we truly never resolved the issue. I got pregnant a few months after. We have a beautiful boy and baby girl. He is upset with me that I have to worry about protecting my kids. He understands everything else but that. Our marriage has gotten better, b/c we have become more involved with church and such. But I am extremely worried about his problem putting him in jail someday. Do you think it is possible to view my husband as a normal person, and not some psycho person? I want to be able to erase images, but it's hard. And what it has done to me, is amazing. He is very overweight and I am not. Now I use that as a weapon. Please give me some advice, especially those that have dealt with this problem specifically.
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A counselor is not a bad idea, but Christian or otherwise, make sure they specialize in sex and porn addiction. Otherwise, their counsel will be useless. It takes knowing this addiction to treat it.
If I can help, let me know.
If you aren't ready for or can't afford counseling with a certified Sex counselor, I would recommend finding a local Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA) meeting in your area and encouraging your husband to attend. I've been attending for 8 years and it's amazing how much better you feel when you know others have the same addiction as you do. (I am a love and sex addict.) There is so much support at SAA for him - the shame will eventually dissipate and he will make bonds with others there that will continue to help him in his recovery. Really, sex addiction is just as powerful as an illegal drug addiction. He needs support.
You may also consider looking into your own support group (like Al-Anon) for spouses of sex addicts. They're available, too.
Truly, best of luck to you. God bless you and help you find the right path to recovery.
Have you considered getting into a group for the spouses/loved ones of addicts?
I can recommend a couple if you are interested.