
Sex / Pornography Addiction Support Group
Sexual addiction, also sometimes called sexual compulsion, is a form of psychological addiction to sexual intercourse and other sexual behavior.

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I have been compulsively masturbating since I was 11 years old. From that very first time, I've been hooked. It's embarrassing to say that, but it's the truth. I have tried to quit numerous times, but can't. I make it for maybe 6 weeks, then I give in. I become so preoccupied with masturbating that I am aroused by neraly anything. This causes tremendous embarrassment and shame. then I can't do it enough. It's gross, really. I can't even look myself in the eye, let alone anyone else.
But why? Why do I do this? Why do I have to do this nearly every night before I go to sleep? If I don't, I'll lie there awake thinking about i until I do and get it over with. As I get older, the urge is far less intense, but still bothersome. I just want to QUIT!
Some answers I have discovered as to 'Why?':
*I'm addicted to the bliss of sexual release
*It blacks out everything else for a while
*I can forget how lonely I am
*It's a substitute for the affection I have craved since I can remember but never got
*It's a substitute for he love I crave but have rarely experienced
*It's a substitute for the genuine intimacy I long for, that deep closenes I have never really known
*It justifies the hate for myself. In fact, this a key to the whole self-hate thing.
Add the fantasy component that makes it go, and I feel horrible about myself.
When I was a kid, I was taught that sex was a sin and that masturbating was an 'abomination to the Lord'. Basically, my entire sense of sexuality was shaped by this and the horrible things my parents used to say to me. All that negative stuff somehow drove my compulsion to masturbate. I don't think it was rebellion so much as it was an attempt to numb my despair.
Ever since then, masturbating has been my drug of choice. As long as I keep doing this, I am going to hate myself. It keeps me isolated from others and I feel deeply ashamed abou feeling sexually attracted to ANYONE. My mind says that 'It's ok, that's natural...', but I feel that having sexual feelings of any kind is fundamentally WRONG. So I live out my life very alone and lonely, craving intimacy and ashamed of it at the same time. I wan to quit, but there is nothing to replace it with.
But why? Why do I do this? Why do I have to do this nearly every night before I go to sleep? If I don't, I'll lie there awake thinking about i until I do and get it over with. As I get older, the urge is far less intense, but still bothersome. I just want to QUIT!
Some answers I have discovered as to 'Why?':
*I'm addicted to the bliss of sexual release
*It blacks out everything else for a while
*I can forget how lonely I am
*It's a substitute for the affection I have craved since I can remember but never got
*It's a substitute for he love I crave but have rarely experienced
*It's a substitute for the genuine intimacy I long for, that deep closenes I have never really known
*It justifies the hate for myself. In fact, this a key to the whole self-hate thing.
Add the fantasy component that makes it go, and I feel horrible about myself.
When I was a kid, I was taught that sex was a sin and that masturbating was an 'abomination to the Lord'. Basically, my entire sense of sexuality was shaped by this and the horrible things my parents used to say to me. All that negative stuff somehow drove my compulsion to masturbate. I don't think it was rebellion so much as it was an attempt to numb my despair.
Ever since then, masturbating has been my drug of choice. As long as I keep doing this, I am going to hate myself. It keeps me isolated from others and I feel deeply ashamed abou feeling sexually attracted to ANYONE. My mind says that 'It's ok, that's natural...', but I feel that having sexual feelings of any kind is fundamentally WRONG. So I live out my life very alone and lonely, craving intimacy and ashamed of it at the same time. I wan to quit, but there is nothing to replace it with.
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I have tried distractions of various kinds, but after while i become totally preoccupied and absolutely MUST get relief.I think that with some help, I might be able to break this adddiction, although I am not much on therapy. My experiences thus far have not been very positive.
I do appreciate your input; I think it is important for any of us affected by this to talk about it.
Thank You!
I am not sure if this helped you or not but please know, you aren't alone here!
i can relate to the build-up that you experience before you masturbate; I also suffer from compulsive masturbation and can get turned-on from any number of things. no matter what I do i can't escape it. the only thing that has worked for me so far is to wait it out and pleasure myself as little as possible while going to therapy and talking about it. it's gotten better; before I started dealing with it, I would have to masturbate a few times a day, in any way possible. not necessarily to climax, but close enough to hold me off until I was alone. in classes, at work, almost every night before I went to bed. I would look at internet porn, fantasize, read erotic stories, look at pictures, anything, and it was all so secret and shameful. I kept everything stashed and also felt that my being attracted to someone was wrong.
since I've started dealing with it, though, I've realized that I may feel sexual towards a person but may not necessarily want to be in a relationship with them, and that's the key difference for me.
Keep your head up.
They thus succeed in making your thoughts and needs for sexual release in an appropriate manner privately driven by their own demons of denial. Drugging people with active sex drives is NOT the answer nor should one feel compelled to seek drugs, and re-orientiation as demanded by a fanatic society bent on regulating your personal sex activity. Only when it is harmful to others, or somehow destructive to you in your own sense, is it proper to expose such an activity to the alternate ideas of others to rid yourself of perceived wrongful sex. But any discussion of this perceived "wrongful behavior" should be assessed by a professional and sympathetic healer with the caveat that such a "healer" is indeed possessed with his or her own ideas of what constitutes "normal" or "abnormal" sex drives, and just how much are these judges justified in making it wrong? The key here is just how much are you self-destructing or actually causing real harm to yourself or others? Many people have obsessions all their lives, without it necessarily being destructive to anybody. This is what I emphasize. The mores or morals of others may simply differ from yours, and to take away simple sexual pleasures that are not harmful is the big question here. To label anybody who masturbates as "sinful" is a great injustice in the name of those who would place and demand judgement punishments againest you that are uncalled for, and sinful in themselves. So each act you perform within the structure of your highly individual rights that pose no actual harm to a relationship, or yourself is a call YOU have to make without allowing the bias of others have it's own destructive effects by some other means of control. Control is a very devious thing, and you must be careful not to let others with ill will toward your needs force you into what is only THEIR satisfaction and their own hang-ups as to what you should be doing. That then only frustrates you into doing what others demand as more meeting THEIR perceived needs in controlling you. Who is right? Somebody else to control your emotions by in inquisition, and use of drugs to deny your normal instincts and needs, or you determining what is right for you? Guilt is the biggest used trip in life others would have you feel crucified for.
1. YOU see masturbation as bad.
So - you have a high sex drive - nothing bad in that. A purely physical thing is that the testosterone drives a man to want to release sperm. If a bloke does not have a woman to deposit it in, then masturbation is an options. It makes the physical release and causes the body to think it has done what it needs to do. Actually, you may be physically healthy.
2. Self hate. Seems to be a trait aggrevated by parents. Sort this out as a separate issue.
Lastly, IF you are in a relationship and you masturbate, and it distresses your partner, then you have a problem, and so does your partner. Big time. Some partners don't mind. some love it. I would not love it, but that is Me (and you don't have to put up with me and my likes and dislikes).
If you masturbate just before your partner wants sex, then she won't be right pleased. Promise.
But - all the lovely men I know masturbate. And they seem to think I want to know about it. (Why I would n't know). Hallelujah.
I think I do have a high sex drive, and that is a complicating factor for me. I would rather just be done with the whole sex thing anymore. My circumstances are unlikely to yield any potential life partners, so I feel like "what's the point" anymore.
For me, masturbating is a necessity. it brings release, but it's an empty experience.
As for self-hate....You have a point. I have been working on that, but it is also difficult to change. It would help if I had a few friends, but everyone is so paranoid here in the US that it seems like the average women fears every man is a rapist and unless one is into sports, making male friends seems pretty much out of the question.
So, I guess I'll just keep yankin my crank and fantasize about how I would like my life to be.
And no-one talks about it.
But I can assure you - I have a lot of male friends and two teenage boys - that every single bloke I know masturbates, and for the most part finds it an absolutely normal ordinary everyday thing and also stops them sleeping around with unsuitable partners.
You'll burst if you don'! I guess when you meet the right ladyfriend, and treat her right(gently does it) and enjoy sex (YES - ENJOY IT!!! Wheee!) the need to masturbate will almost disappear.
And here's another thing I've learnt - blokes - the majority - will still masturbate even in a good loving relationship. It is impossible for two people to be in the right place, at the right time ALL the time to satisfy their desires. So again, a release is natural normal and healthy.
Having said all this, if it goes on to the exclusion of sex in a relationship and gets between people, or you make it public in front of your partner when she is not comfy with it, or you use porn to get off.. then there will be big trouble ahead.
Good luck - but stop condeming yourself so much. And I think you absolutely right to explore the topic here and get other's opionions. They'll all be different, and hopefully the differences will show a wide picture and help.
Thanks for your input. It does help to get the opinion of others. Just talking about this here has helped. It has also helped a lot for teens to respond--I don't feel like I was the only one who had strong sexual urges and masturbated to relieve them when I was young. I lived in relative isolation when I was btween 10 and 17 years old, so I didn't have the experience of coming to age with peers. Talking here with the number of teens who responded with their own stories went a long way toward reshaping my own ideas about masturbation, sex drive, etc. I have appreciated the input of other adults, but it's the kids that have truly helped me without them even realizing it. My perspective is now much more like your own. It's not such a big deal anymore. I have other related issues, but even they are losing their power over me. That feels pretty good!
Thanks again:)