There can never be an excuse for lusting and obsessing over sex with someone else. He has a problem and is addiction to "LUST". It doesn't matter what you say or what you do he will find a way to feed his addiction. If he denies it and lies about it then he is an addict. He needs help but first he MUST admit he has a problem and wants to stop.

I have been there, done that..

It cannot be used as an "excuse". But he will use it if you allow him to. Sexual addiction is very real and very complicated to say the least. His problems are real. His twisted sense of morals are very real. If he's aware of his sexual addiction, he needs to seek help. It will never get any better if he doesn't. SA is not a one man game plan to tackle. There's many sites under the recommendations here and you should also look into counseling. Trust me, trust me, trust me. If you just blow it off, it will continue and usually, it get's worse. With the right help, you can see the changes and have a better success rate. It's strictly up to him whether he wants to recover seriously or not. If he doesn't, he won't. And it usually takes hitting rock bottom before that happens. The last thing you want to do however, is give him an ultimatum. This does not work and usually pushes him further into his addiction. He has to take control of it so you're looking at the unknown really.
There's alot of good people here to talk to. Just keep up on the boards here for support and I wish you luck :-)

Well it put us to the point where we are trial seperating. I know it is a very real problem, be knows and admits he has a problem, but he is not ready to get the help. He has alcoholism and this sex addiction. I have not pushed him out of my life, but for the safety of my mind, body and soul we can't be together. It is lust be tells me that if a woman looks at him in a certain way he wants to get on it. It doesn't matter how much sex we have trust me I thought if we had a lot he will lose the interest of other women. WRONG! I can't see how a person with a SA can go to meetings with people who have th esame addiction. I would think that would give them easier ways to access people.

Tammmi,
people who go to sa meetings are there because we need help....its not to pick up people, and who wants to pick up someone who knows you have a problem....that defeats the purpose....only my opinion....good luck to you......its hard to e an addict as a woman, but i couldnt imagine going through it as a spouse.....my heart goes out to you...
Tammy