Sex / Pornography Addiction Support Group

Sexual addiction, also sometimes called sexual compulsion, is a form of psychological addiction to sexual intercourse and other sexual behavior.

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deleted_user 12/05/2007

let me start off with my hubby and I have had probs for more than a year now and we are kind of at an ok point right now sort of anyway only because i am I think giving up on certain things like trying not to take too many things too personal but this last thing is really just keeping a wedge between us and really just keeping me at a certain level with him in the trust dept!
the situation to date is everytime he has a minute to do it he goes to the newsgroups or d/l porn . not just anything tho pretty specific stuff and people!!!!! its really creeping me the hell out. Hes not at the level that hes paying for it because he doesnt have to . Its readily available if you know how to work the sites etc......
I know it may seem like i am probably being a little sensitive because of events in the past year but it doesnt bother me when he just surfs for sex as a whole its just certain things which he KNOWS pisses me off (cause i leave him clues) but some things i dont think he knows i know and its like i said really freaking me out!
to top it all off he cant seem to keep it up when we have sex which at his age isnt nec weird but doc didnt find anything wrong Physically with him so go figure. I kept saying its mental but I just dont know.
Maybe seeing the seemingly perfect figure etc.... are giving him a warped sense of what i should look like IDK but I am really not dealing well with this lately!
He said once when i confronted him that he doesnt do it when weve had sex blah blah... LIES he seems to escalate when we do!!!!!
gets obsessive ! would really love to hear from peeps in similar situations
Male and female!
I wonder if surfing fo weird stuff is a secret thing all guys do out of curiosity or if hes just creepy and i need to bolt?!
some say i should bolt because he knows certain things bother me and he does it out of spite !
IDK some great fucking relationship right?!

Thriver 12/05/2007

When it gets tot he point that it's causing problems in your relationship or at work, then it is starting to be an addiction.
My STBX is addicted. After a few years of marriage, I noticed that he had trouble climaxing which had never been a problem before. Then, sex seemed to be optional whereas before he had always been up for it. I think it is a symptom. They look at airbrushed 'beauty' all day and night and your real self cannot possibly measure up. The relationship suffers and he goes more and more to it. Your feelings don't really matter next to his compulsion.
Also, there is little you can do about it until and unless they figure out that they have a problem. All you can do is to keep yourself sane.

deleted_user 12/06/2007

Amazing thats kind of what i was thinking..... society is creating a warped sense of what a woman should look like.
it is also saying hey its ok to screw little girls! i actually heard one person say we do it to ourselves with the way we dress. I was just like ya right like a woman came up with playboy, maxim ,fhm etc.....they do it to themselves cant think beyond the penis! LOL
i suppose after this past year im just really not willing anymore to even begin to try to measure up . this gets too out of control i can just walk then he can have all the creepy porn he wants and spend his time with ky and sally ! LOLOL

deleted_user 12/06/2007

I posted this a few days ago:
http://dailystrength.org/discussions/Sex_Pornography_Addiction/messages/1438282

I don't know if it will help, but it might give you some answers.
Let me now if I can help in any way.

deleted_user 12/14/2007

My partner does the same thing, Often he can't keep it up too. I think it is because they have seen too much porn. I do not understand how they can get off on teenage girls, it makes me sick. Why do men want to live in fantasy land and not have some fun in the real land with a partner that loves them. Anytime you want to chat send me a message in the same vote as you. Do not know what he is up to now on computer as he is extra cautious with his password.

deleted_user 12/14/2007

I have been reading the thread and wanted to take a portion of the discussion and point out that from experience, the more porn I see the more I have no problem with climaxing with my wife. Sometimes it increases the amount of sperm that I discharge, as if it were building up or something.

I am not suggesting that porn is good. It is not. But I have never had the problem of not being able to rise to the occasion for my wife. It does however take me longer to cum, but I thought that was because I'm getting older.

I wrestle with the passion more than porn. I can hop into a fantasy in a second, but mainly control it. There are months when I am in total control and then it's like the flood gates break open. During that time I feel like the guy on Heroes who was about to explode and blow up on New York, but I manage to survive and have not cheated physically on my wife though I do consider masterbating to porn as cheating on my wife.

deleted_user 12/14/2007

I have been addicted to sex for many years. I had crushes on my teachers at a very young age. I'm married now but my wifes' desire for sex is almost absent. She says it's the stress from life that makes her lose her desire. Now she knows i have a porn collection and i'm sure she knows i view it often to "do what i have to do". I pretty much have only one website that i go to for it and i like all kinds of porn. However, i don't act on it. I have considered cheating and even asking for an open marriage , but i know she would never go for that. I pretty mcu habe to beg for sex and when she does do it ,it's as if she's doing me a favor. So , as for myself , my porn is the only thing keeping me from straying at the moment. I'm a bodybuilder and i have had more than a few advances made at me that opened a door for me to do it. However , my vows keep me from doing so. My wife is also very overweight , so these women who are interested are also fellow gym goers and look damn good !

cindy666 12/14/2007

I am also an internet sex addict. I look at porn and I have a 'friend' I cyber with regularly. I wonder if longhaul's wife has lost interest in sex because she is so overweight. I was obese for several years and my sex drive tool a big dive. Part of it was I just didn't want to take my clothes off! Maybe she has self-esteem issues around her weight. Try to let her know that she beautiful just the way she is and try to help her improve her fitness (ask her to come for a walk, stuff like that), without actually mentioning her weight. If she starts to feel better about herself, she may become interested again.

deleted_user 12/14/2007

Actually cindy , i've been addicted to all forms of sex for many years even since my childhood years. I'm what many people call "insatiable". I'm sure that one of the reasons for the lack of sex is her weight and we have discussed it openly and she is "trying". She also simply just does not find sex to be all that pleasing. SOMETIMES she'll actually want it but it's never enuf for me. I've been out of work for a couple months now and have even established a routine so to speak. I COULD just roll her over and do what i need to do , but for me it's simply just not very arousing unless she wants it too. So, since i get up very early and got to the gym every day ,i actually survey the women at the gym to decide which one i want to fanasize about that day (and i have my favs). Then i go home and i decide if i want to search thru my porn collection to see which actress looks the closest or if i want to search my fav porn site for her match and then i fantasize. It sounds very bad , i know , but when i see any woman , i ask myself, "would i have sex with her?" and the answer is usually yes. Like i said , i haven't physically cheated yet , and i could not say that if the actual situation presented itself that i would not go thru with it. I would be lying to myself and everyone here if i said i could resist. I love women ,and sex , period. However i still love my wife with all of my heart. The only only solution would be to have an open marriage ,which is something i know she would NEVER go for. It's not "personal" , i just love the idea of having "bed buddies". One other thing , i also have been in the habit of thinking of other women even while having sex with my wife at times.

deleted_user 12/14/2007

thank you all for support and point of views.they really are helpful and comforting

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