sometimes we push people away because we are afraid of being hurt. none of us like having the rug ripped out from underneath us...in fact, it's better to not have the rug at all than to have it and it gets taken away. does that make sense?

kinda but I still don't understand why I do it... I know that he would never try to hurt me or anything but I still do that....

sometimes, when i really needed help the most, i pushed my husband away because i felt like a mess and i was ashamed, and i felt guilty for receiving his affections.....so i ended up rejecting him and then i just felt rejected...how twisted was that?

lol sounds like me.... I can't stand it..... I want help!!!!

try to trust him, and accept his love that he is offering...when he offers his love to you, that is a very special and priceless gift worth accepting...

yea....

I do this a lot of the time. My counsellor said it's because I have low self confidence and am self destructive. I don't think enough of myself to actually believe I am wanted and loved, also that I think my girlfriend deserves better so I am trying to push her away before she gets there first, or so I think...
To help me with this, I have explained to her about it all, and told her that if I ever become nasty towards her, she shouldn't take it to heart, but not ignore it either. That she should just try and keep me calm, keep reassuring me and talk my worries through with me until I am feeling better in any way.

wow that's interesting... last night was a horrible night for me... it was crazy! A mix of separation anxiety and depression and anger... and probably a million other things... I kept wanting to kick my boyfriend out of the bed and the room and when he finally got out of the bed after me going off on him for 2 hours it hurt me cause not only was he hurting cause of what I was doing I didn't have him to comfort me and calm me down... Last night I'd yell at him a while and then need him to be with me then push him away, it was like a yo-yo that I almost lost at one point cause it was 6 hours till he had to go to work so he didn't want to get back into bed only to be kicked out again. I need him all the time but when something just anything gets in the way of that I just can't stand to see him... I can't stand to see him in pain though... do any of you know how to stop this destructive pattern

that doesn't sound good. i think it may be anger issues and low self esteem issues. you have to start loving yourself and retrain your thinking into positive thinking. hang in there..you're not alone...

I do that to my boyfriend all the time and it, obviously, drives him crazy! Whenever we fight, I push him away and tell him he should just break up if he isn't happy. The last thing in the world I want is for him to leave me so I don't know why I say that. I lost my father when I was only eight years old and a therapist once since that's why I have separation anxiety and fear of abandonment from males in my life. I always push people away for fear of getting hurt again. I feel that it's inevitable that people will hurt me at some point and I just can't deal with that kind of pain.

Sometimes with people it is the fact that they know that person will always be there. I have the same problems with my best friend. She does the same thing to me a lot. She makes it feel like I did something wrong, sometime I did mess up but not something that was major but for her she makes it a big deal and takes out a lot of anger on me. I know with her the reason is that because we are so close and she knows I won't leave her. I will always be there to help her when she needs it. The best thing I can suggest Sheri is to sit down and have a serious conversation with your bf. just open up totally and see if you can narrow down what is wrong and help to explain to him why it is that you are doing what your doing.