today has been a really bad day. I tried so hard not to cut but it happened. one day I want to go deep enough so I dont need to go through this mess of a life. people say give your life to god, well, if God is so loving y does he allow so much bad stuff happen. I have grown up in church and hated my mother the whole time. my mother is the punisher in the house so she beat us with what ever and when ever. y does a loving God allowed this to happen. I hate life and most women in my life. ususally if I have been abused in anyway it was by a woman. Y?
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