I wonder what its like to be normal, i mean to be free of addiction, to actually like yourself and not constantly abuse your body one way or the other because you just disgust yourself. To be able to face whatever without cutting yourself or drinking a bottle of blinking vodka just to numb the pain of being you. I wish i had the guts to end it. People say to me i should count myself lucky that i havent got a terminal disease that i can see that i can hear, i say i dont feel lucky. Am i feeling sorry for myself, answer, yes and why shouldnt i. People look at me and they see the scars and the cuts, i cant be arsed hiding them now, and i can see they are disgusted they think i arnt normal. So i ask the question again WILL I EVER BE NORMAL.
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