thats a very useful post thank u. I know i hate myself but for me my reasons for cutting go a lot deeper. I know that much. But i don't know what the deeper problems are. Thats y i joined here to see if someone said something that would make it click for me what it really is that makes me do it because i do not fully understand y

well done- its nice 2 read positive post for a change!

I'll have to think about it, but they're right... it is a good post

that was very helpful

i used to cut
because i hated myself
i felt like i needed to punish myself for not being perfect

i felt like i had no control in my life
it was the only thing i had control over
it was the one thing that nobody could take away from me

when i felt so numb
it let me know that i was alive

I didn't start out cutting.. For over 20 years I have been hitting & bruising myself. this past August I started cutting. I don't know why I changed how I SI, but I know what led to it.

Primarily, it is due to the fact I hate myself, for not being good enough, having enough control, or I was being a burden to others. When the anger & rage inside gets bad, I lash out... usually at me.

I know the reason I cut. Its b/c I feel like I am burden to my family and my friends. I dont think they should have to watch me go through my mental break down, I dont want to feel this way, and I hate the choices i have made in my life. But, knowing this, doesnt stop me.

Im glad that figuring out why you cut has helped you and I am soooo glad that you dont do it anymore. I am hoping that I can find someone soon to talk to.. i have a few people helping me track down someone in my area that has experience with SI so hopefully that will help me.

i used to cut because i dont want to be an emotional sponge on anyone, when i have cut i feel such a feeling of emotional relief but then i have to hide the wounds.
My dad knows about the self harming now, my husband and my b/f (long story) also know about it but sometimes they just dont understand why i do it and that getting angry at me for it just pushes me away and makes me not want to talk to them as an alternative even more.

it seems that self-hatred is a prevailant theme here. mine comes from a combination of pure disgust at all my shortcomings and increased sensitivity to the reactions/actions of others towards me. my feelings are just so intense that it seems i can't disperse them any other way. it is both an act of release by giving into the urge to cut and punishment for myself by seeing how i've destroyed a tiny bit of myself. i seem to cut when i've become angry because of others and burn when it's coming purely from myself.
not wanting to hurt my bf because i SI is the only thing that had kept me free of it for a year; but that isn't working anymore and i don't know any other way to stop it.

Honestly, I still haven't come up with the full answer yet... but I think this is a very important post, so, thanks!

"emotional sponge" .. very descriptive.. i can definately relate.

i never really thought about why i si like this.. but i'd have to say its somewhere along the lines of perfectionism, guilt, hatred, rage, being a burden, yet feeling alone. throw in a mental cloud and depression..