Its a horrible addiction, thats why we do it. Also i makes me feel better, like a breath of freah air and for that short little while everythings going to be ok. I tried to stop so many times now ive just given up trying to quit, i use a knife. Before i do it i usually feel so sad it feels like the only option, or occasinaly angry, and when im doing it, i stop thinking about why im crying and just focus on the cutting. after i dont care and then i next day i see the scars and feel like an idiot. Thats amazing that u havnt done it in 6 months, CONGRATULATIONS! ur strong, i couldnt do it

i self cut becouse i get all these things inside me building up and up tell the only thing i can do is just let it all out i wont to see the blood dripping every where i wont to see my all arm go red , its like a big turn on watching the blood dripping on the floor ... then there is to many cuts to much blood , and i sit looking at my arm crying wishing i never done it .. then next day is the worse i wake up seeing the cuts seeing the dry blood i feel sick i hate my self i cant look in the mirror , but a day or 2 passes and i think to my self i cant go though that again and i just look forwords becouse if i dont do that then i know i wont be here for long .... i wish every night even when i have'nt cut for weeks that all this would stop , i hate it but i cant stop it so i got to live with it and always think to my self it will get better .... take care all , and my prays go out to you all ... xxxxx jay

i think and i'm only thinking , but i think self injurys are or might be becouse we know wot its like to hurt, and we might not wont ather people to hurt so we do it to are selfs so athers dont hurt , becouse i know i would rather have the pain than put some 1 else though any pain ... i dont know mind wot you think xxxxxxxxxxxx jay

I do it as a stress reliever... I think. I have no control over my life... and when I cut its like hey i know im doing that I have control over this (only not really because if I wanted to stop I couldnt)
I feel good afterwards.... until I go to school the next day and someone accidentally sees it.

For me, emotions lead to punishment... so if I punish myself, I'm allowed to feel... especially negative emotions that try to overwhelm me.

Why I do it - stress relief, a way to hold off tears, a way to cope, etc.
How I feel before - scared, upset, stressed, angry, hurt
How I feel during - relieved
How I feel after - relieved, guilty.
I have to bleed. That's my only requirement.

1 thing I think we have in common toward si- at least in this discussion- is that we crave it, we love it, & then we hate it. I haven't done it in 4 wks or so, everyday I want it & everyday I can see it in my mind, but I know how I'll feel afterward, after the relief passes and the smile fades. and yet doing it once after a long time of not, makes me want to do it a couple times a day & it's 10X harder to stop. & as NiceJay was saying- I'd rather hurt myself than see n e 1 else in pain.

weird, everyone here feels bad after the fact. am i the only one who feels quilty yet feels better the next day?

When the body receves slow cuts, it releases endorphins to manage the pain. You become addicted to the endorphins, and that is why it is hard to stop.

SI is a distraction. A temporary relieval of emotional pain and painful thought.

thats a good point that fersurema said about haveing control over it , and that is true for me any way becouse dont matter wot any 1 does to me or make me do no 1 can ever make me self cut , so yea , having control .. take care all xxxxxxx jay

i do it when i am really stressed out or when i want to take my mind off of my emotional pain. before i cut i feel stressed angry sad during i know it sounds weird but i feel peace. After i feel relived. and i use a sharp razor blade i use to pull my hair but now i bang my head against the wall or i cut