It has been 9 1/2 months since I cut... Although one would think that each day would be easier... Every day gets harder... the urges stronger and I feel as if my ability to control them is fading fast... Every day I want to cut a little bit more... i finally decided to talk to my BF about it the other night and he made me feel stupid. He doesn't understand how anyone could do that to themselves. We ended up fighting about it. Not at all what I wanted... I guess I wanted him to hold me to tell me that he would help me get through it and that he loved me no matter what. Although he told me that he loved me no matter what and that he would never leave me... I feel like he looks at me different . He says that he doesn't but I feel like he does... I feel like I should have never brought it up to him. Like maybe it would have been better if I would have kept it to myself... I want him to know I want to be able to look to him for help but I feel like I put a barrier between us... What am I supposed to do... Since it became such a big deal between us I feel like the urge to cut is even more prominent that it was before... Why can't i just be normal... Why can't I cope like everyone else does... He accused me of looking for attention... How do you explain to someone that has never been sick really that has never been addicted to anything... how do you explain the NEED to cut... Help me please!
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