I know I have some issues to deal with. But there are times when I feel pleasent. I'm engaged to the nicest man I've ever met. He tells me and shows me some much love and appreciation. He makes me feel safe and happy. But I want to die. I don't want to be here anymore. Those pleasent times are not enough, they are to few to far apart.I can't take the pain anymore. Even though he's here with me I feel so alone. I almost did it one day, I took a whole bottom of tylenol with codene and all of meteformin(diabetic meds). The doctor said I was so close to dying "but good thing your body is strong, it fought for you" he said. That was the worst day. I even got hit by a car on purpose but all I got was to broken legs and a clasped lung. I tried so hard but I can't do it. Why can't my mind be as strong as my body? Alot of people tell me that if I really wantedto kill myself I would have done it already. But that's not true! I want to die with all of my heart I want to die. What is wrong with me?