I know I have some issues to deal with. But there are times when I feel pleasent. I'm engaged to the nicest man I've ever met. He tells me and shows me some much love and appreciation. He makes me feel safe and happy. But I want to die. I don't want to be here anymore. Those pleasent times are not enough, they are to few to far apart.I can't take the pain anymore. Even though he's here with me I feel so alone. I almost did it one day, I took a whole bottom of tylenol with codene and all of meteformin(diabetic meds). The doctor said I was so close to dying "but good thing your body is strong, it fought for you" he said. That was the worst day. I even got hit by a car on purpose but all I got was to broken legs and a clasped lung. I tried so hard but I can't do it. Why can't my mind be as strong as my body? Alot of people tell me that if I really wantedto kill myself I would have done it already. But that's not true! I want to die with all of my heart I want to die. What is wrong with me?
Posts You May Be Interested In
theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...