I don't know about anybody else, but I constantly get bombarded with what if's. Like what if I grew up in a normal home, or what if I was never touched against my will. What if I never picked up the knife to begin with. What would I be without scars. What would I feel without pain. What kind of tears would I cry without hurt. What would I look like if I hadn't hurt myself so bad or starved. Who would I be then? Somebody; maybe, nobody; more than likely. Don't get me wrong, I don't feel sorry for myself, it is merely thinking out loud. Sometimes, I look at the world and I'm glad I'm not part of it. Lonliness to me is a lot more appealing than conformity. I don't know. That's just the thing, I don't know. So, I stay surrounded in my lonliness, thinking about what if's, and just not knowing. Anyone feel the same?
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