after 5 weeks going with out self-harming, i had a major argument with my parents and i slipped up. ive been trying not to cut anymore. i made a promise to my boyfriend that i would try to stop. but i just dont know what to do in order to finally stop. ive tried rubberbands and markers, and the ice and none are realy working. the only thing that has been working is that i cry myself to sheer exhaustion to where i dont even have the strength to lift the blade. but i cant keep rying like that, it sets me in a deep depression for a few days afterwords. i know that jsut picking up the blade will make me temporarly happy but then i have to go back to covering up and hiding when its already 80+ degrees weather here. i just want something that will help me stop but give me that same feeling i get when i use the blade. ive almost given up on that, everything i do i seem to compare it to the feeling the blade gives me and i cant give it up. what should i do, i really would like to be able to stop cutting and keep the promise i made to my boyfriend.
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