for years since i was 7, i had been dark and morose. i love seeing blood, especially my own, i cut to feel, i cut to stop my pain, to stop my want of my own death, to see my blood run down my arm or face or even my stomach is pain and pleasure! since my mother's death 7 years ago i have been trying to kill myself, im married now he's in the army. i should feel wonderful right? i mean im a newly wed but my life is crumbling down even worst then normal...im sick of hospitals, visit the nut ward 22 times since i was 17!! i m not doing it again even if i get free insurance. i need a real friend. a friend who won't put me down. a friend who can understand and maybe even relate to this..someone who i can talk to every week or more...i just want die, or sleep forever. having nice dreams all the time til i finally croak.....thanks for reading this. i appreciate it.
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