for years since i was 7, i had been dark and morose. i love seeing blood, especially my own, i cut to feel, i cut to stop my pain, to stop my want of my own death, to see my blood run down my arm or face or even my stomach is pain and pleasure! since my mother's death 7 years ago i have been trying to kill myself, im married now he's in the army. i should feel wonderful right? i mean im a newly wed but my life is crumbling down even worst then normal...im sick of hospitals, visit the nut ward 22 times since i was 17!! i m not doing it again even if i get free insurance. i need a real friend. a friend who won't put me down. a friend who can understand and maybe even relate to this..someone who i can talk to every week or more...i just want die, or sleep forever. having nice dreams all the time til i finally croak.....thanks for reading this. i appreciate it.
Posts You May Be Interested In
I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??