Hi nineteen. By all means, if you are at a point of choosing between cutting and wanting to die-CUT!!!!! If you have cut before, you must be familiar with how to deal with the bleeding and ways to avoid scaring others or hiding it, etc. Many people do not understand cutting and think that it is always a suicide attempt. Most of us cut to live because it is the only way that we know of to stay alive when we think we want to die. I started cutting about 8 years ago. My cuts have always been long enough or deep enough to be needing stitches, but I knew enough about first aid that when my emotions were under my control once again, and I was ready to stop the bleeding, I used pressure, then took care to use antibiotic ointment and as much gauze bandages as it took along with ace bandages for pressure to help it heal. If I found myself in the same spot emotionally before the cut healed, rather than cut again, I would usually make a fist and beat on the area of the cut until it was freeflowing with blood again. I have some horrible scars from my cutting, but I am eventually getting to a point that I don't feel the urgent need to cut like I used to although I still fight it. Hang in there because you sound much too young to die. I truly hope you are seeing a therapist and getting help with your emotional distress. I've been in therapy for over 10 years for a number of mental health illnesses and if I can keep going, I think you can do it too. I don't know you but I have faith. Good luck!! Kathy

i agree if its ur life or a cut, take the cut, just remember 2 clean n dress the wounds, 2 any1 that doesnt cut this may sound like an extreme alernative but believe me its not, cut 2 live, as despair is like all emotions, given time it will pass. im here if u need 2 talk love tox x

i hope you dont die

NO IF IT HELPS UNTIL YOU GET THREW THE HARD PART. I JUST DONE THAT YESTERDAY !!!! I WANTED TO DIE SO BAD AND IT HAD BEEN ALMOST 2 YEARS SINCE I CUT I ENDED UP BREAKING A RAZOR APART AND CUTTING PRETTY DEEP AND HAD TO HAVE STITCHES (DON'T CUT DEEP!!!!!)BUT I'M FEELING A HUGE RELEASE TO WHERE I CAN MAKE IT AT LEAST A FEW MORE DAYS!!

OH BY THE WAY I'M HERE IF YOU EVER NEED TO TALK OR JUST VENT!

Hi again nineteen. I haven't looked to see if you have written any more yet, but I am glad to see others agreeing with me that by all means, CUT!! It sounds horrible to be telling someone to do that, but for us self harmers, cutting is the best way for us to live rather than die. "Normal" people don't understand our cutting, no matter how open minded they are, they just don't get it and unless they have been through this, they won't be of any help. They will just think you need to be in a psych. hospital and as long as you aren't cutting to die, you don't belong in a hospital. I was worse off after getting stuck in a hospital the one time my husband caught me and took me to the E.R. for stitches. There was a counselor called in and she insisted that I be hospitalized. If my own shrink wouldn't have been on vacation at the time, we could have called her and she would have told them that putting me in a hospital was definitely the wrong thing to do. She knew me well enough to know that it would send me falling backwards with my therapy. I haven't read what you asked about telling people, but generally the best answer is no. You will find that your friends avoid you and your family thinks you are nuts. Maybe we are, but at least we have found a way to deal with our pain. They may be just as nuts but don't have any coping mechanisms whether they are healthy or not. Like I said before, just make sure you keep it clean so it doesn't get infected, and if you are bleeding too badly and get scared, always have something with you that you can use to apply pressure to slow and eventually stop the bleeding. If it won't stop, then by all means, get some help or you will be dead. Very few cutters die unless they are determined that they want to die, but most of us actually want to live just a little more than we want to die so cutting is actually our savior. Good luck nineteen, I really am praying for the best for you. Remember, there are a bunch of us here who are wanting you to live no matter what. But we also know that you are going through some very difficult emotional struggles or you wouldn't be thinking about cutting. Please talk freely to us. That is what D.S. is all about. I can't believe how much support I have gotten in my search for support. I really love this site. Love ya girl!!!! kathy