i never thought that this addiction "cutting myself" would be so much stronger than me...it's like i can't control it anymore...the more i try to distract myself i can't help thinking to myself that i need to cut myself...the worst part is my parents don't even know...i mean everytime they see a sctrach or cut in my arms i always lie about it i make an excuse or something...it's like i wish i could just yell that I NEED HELP...but i can't i don't know what there reaction is going to be...i just wish i had that support...the reason i don't want to tell my mom especially to her is because like 2yrs. ago something happen in the family relating to my brother and she went into a BIG ASS DEPRESSION...i just fell so alone...and i hate feeling like this...it's the worst feeling ever...
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??