the past few days have literally been HELL for me. my teachers have seemed really irritable so far this week, even though its just monday. ive been cutting soo much...i have 82 fresh cuts so far on my body and i know that there will be more to come....im trying to cut in new places....i tried my chest, shoulder, hip, even face. im out of control and i dont know why....or how it happened. 3 months. 3 months of no cutting down the drain. im ruining everything that i worked hard for and i dont even seem to care! i dont know why i should either! whats the point?! i cant take this much longer. any more of this could mean death. i passed out today in class, probably because of blood loss. im so exhausted and weak. but the problem is that all of that is my favorite part!!! the danger! the fact that at any moment i could go too far! i dont know what to do. i dont know why i even try. im basically just here anymore because of my good friends at ds and because of Pat. im sick of this though. this is totally crushing me! im tired of having this weight on my chest all the time! i just want it all to go away! i want to disappear and never be found.
Posts You May Be Interested In