I LOVE tank tops and warm weather and summer and all that comes with it...except the anxiety that comes from my scars being out in the open! Its like I can feel the eyes on my arm! I only have scars on the inside of my left arm so I constantly think about how I'm standing and what part of my arm is showing and how I can cover it up and I'm always in uncomfortable positions just so I can make sure that part of my arm is against something. Usually I wear long sleeves to work and just tell people that I get really cold in air conditioning which luckily is true, but this year the air conditioning is broken. The thing that I hate most is that this problem never goes away, even if you overcome the urges and you beat the addiction it sticks with you for the rest of your life. I feel like I'm branded. I've gotten to the point where I no longer feel the urge to do this (for now atleast) I cannot overcome the fact that this will forever be a part of me. I'm so ashamed. Its gotten to the point where I've considered doing something to make a big scar to cover all the little ones. Something that I could make up a believable story about. Like pouring boiling water over my arm and I could tell people that I spilled it. You can't make up stories about 100 scars all lined up along your forearm. I've tried all the scar treatments out there, none of them really get rid of them. I'm just so sick of all the anxiety this causes me! I want it to go away for good! I want my arm back!
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