don't know how it all started... but i first started cutting areas on my ankles/wrists as a way to escape my obsessive or depressing thoughts while i was in college a few years ago. i knew 2 other self harmers so i'd run to them for advice afterwards and they were always supportive. i usually write poetry as an alternative to express my anger/fear but somehow cutting is the only way that truly, temporarily relieves my pain. after a messy breakup with my boyfriend a few months ago, i was crying daily for almost a month but didn't cut once... and ever since we've been back together and decided to try and make it work (within the past month), things have been near perfect... but once any little thing goes wrong i begin cutting again. i feel like not only am i trying to escape the mental pain by causing physical pain, but im also somewhat punishing myself for terrible things i've done in the past to hurt others (if that makes any sense). but of course my cutting actions are always followed by a sense of terrible guilt and hopelessness. i need to find another way out of my obsessive thought process.
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