I am terrified of asking for help. what will they think of me? I don't cut that often anymore simply because it has become extreamly difficult to conceal, but that just means that when i can, i do it exesivly(sp?) and i think about it atleast 3 times a day. often i find myself subconsiously scratching my arms or digging my finger nails in, trying to break skin, so that i can say it's an accident and i scratched myself (as a razor leaves very obvious razor marks.) I even got to the point where i purposly cut my finger nails sharp. I want it to stop, it is taking control of my life. should i hang out with friends today? nope, can't, my cuts haven't healed and they are going swimming. Anyways, the point is, is that i am really too scared to tell anyone, and I have a weird fear of shrinks. I can't seem to find any annonamous sites where i can actually have someone to talk to. I feel as though im drowing.
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I gave my 2 week notice last Friday 13th. Now to join you fine people in a life of leisure and nothing else to do but to look out for myself....is it just me or does that sound pretty boring? My goal was to live to retire and I guess having to take early retirement because of health reasons wasn't exactly the way I had planned things. I just can't stay in that building that is reeking mildew...