Why is it so hard to be the one to end a friendship. I finally stood up to this person that kept using me and not giving enough back to my friendship. Now I feel like I didn something wrong. I just don't know what to do anymore. Part of me wants to call and apologise but I know thats not right. All I want is for him to act like he cares that I might never speak to him again. All I've ever wanted is to feel like I mattered to him. All I want right now is to feel like I matter to more than one person. Or to feel like I have a future. I just wish I knew how to make these feelings go away. Now I'm gonna be up all night trying to calm myself down and distract myself long enough that I can stop myself from cutting. Hes probably already asleep because he just doesn't care and it HURTS! I don;t know how much longer I can go on being this down all the time. I tried to reach out and it stabbed me in the back.
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